fah shun

How on earth, Viktor and Rolf?

Who knew that Darwin's theories and fashion could go hand in hand? Praise to McQueen, the strange genius that he is.

here's a thought:

What if members of Congress were to go without health care for six months?

interesting things you can make with hemp

• diapers
  
• clothing
• fabrics
• handbags
• denim
• socks
• shoes
• fine textiles (cottonized)
• twine
• rope
• nets
• canvas bags
• tarps
• carpets
• geotextiles
• caulking, brake/clutch linings
• printing paper
• fine and specialty paper
• newsprint
• cardboard and packaging
• technical filter paper
• fiberboard
• insulation material
• fiberglass substitute
• cement blocks
• stucco and mortar
• animal bedding
• mulch
• mushroom compost
• granola
• birdseed
• salad oil
• margarine
• food supplements
• oil paints (!)
• varnishes
• printing inks
• fuel
• solvents
• chain-saw lubricants
• putty
• coatings
• soap (!)
• shampoo (!)
• bath gels (!)
• cosmetics (!)
• animal feed
• protein-rich flour
• abrasive fluids
• boiler fuel
• pyrolysis feedstock
• pest resistance
• weed suppression
• elimination of pesticides without disadvantages
• pollen isolation
• soil improvement in crop rotation
• treatment of glaucoma
• vomiting
• spasms
• psychoactive substances

and why isn't the marijuana plant legal again?

rest, candice

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09280/1003533-54.stm

Why almost two years later are these "journalists" still spelling her name incorrectly? Also, this did not happen last year; this happened in 2007. Glad the Post-Gazette knows how to fact check.

Rest in peace, sweetest angel.

words to remember but easy to forget

My nine-year-old self used to get annoyed when this song came on the radio. The fact that Britney Spears, Smashmouth or NSYNC were on a five minute hiatus annoyed the hell out of me. How dare 96.1 make me listen to some old guy talk? Besides, what does he know? 

I thought about this speech the other day. Renown filmmaker. What on earth was he saying? After re-reading the words, I fell in love with it. There are tidbits of genius scattered throughout this speech--I want to cement a lot of these words into my mind. Anyways:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 , if I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… I will dispense this advice now: Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary

what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

some things just make you smile

Every November 18th and September 20th that pass are such beautiful days. I swear that the sun never shines brighter in Happy Valley than it does on those days, especially on your birthday. Something remarkable happens to me every year. This year, September 20th, I was thinking of you all morning, and even bought a Red Bull to have when I got back from the gym. As I was walking home, I decided to take the longer route that runs along the main road just to bask in the sun a little more where it was shining so bright. After about a minute, I looked up to the sky for a few seconds and it just felt good. I eventually looked down and the first thing that I saw was under a little shrub. It was an empty Red Bull can with a straw in it right by my foot. I couldn't make this up if I tried! It was one of the most unreal things that ever happened to me. I can't help but think it's not mere coincidence. I love you forever. Thank you for that.
--written by Dizza on Ceec's wall.

mcworld

Each dot represents a McDonalds.

top five awesome places that are considered embarrassing

A Celine Dion Concert: For the past two Christmases I have asked my father for tickets to a Celine Dion concert in Vegas… I can’t decide if I’m serious or not about my requests. However if I did go, I think the most embarrassing situation would be me being sober decked out in a tour T-shirt caught red handed buying a commemorative cup.


Anywhere with David Hasselhoff: I can only hope that he would be wearing cut off jean shorts with a muscle tee singing his hit song from the '90s, “Crazy For You.” I’d be embarrassed for both of us once his daughter whipped out the video camera, though.


A Jonas Brothers Meet and Greet: I would completely ignore the ugly one and the other one with thick eyebrows and focus all of my attention on Nick. This is not only embarrassing because at age 21 I dig the ‘Jo Bros,’ but also because the only one I’m attracted to is sixteen. Is that illegal?


Drunk Tank: The only way this would be awesome is if you have a remarkable story to tell about your poor life decisions, otherwise you’re just a drunken fool in a holding cell.


Strip Club: Although I’ve never been, some of my fellow male staff members seem to think this is a great example. Quite frankly, it’d be embarrassing if I went and they were on stage.

good friends, bad habits.

i can't sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEp.

How many people do you have 'a thing' for right now?
nada

Do you regret dating anyone you dated?
no

Could you go a day without eating?
if i wanted to but im not into that shit

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
your mom

Were you happy when you woke up today?

i generally try to be it gets the day starting off well

Are you missing someone?

my dog, my dad, miley cyrus, jackie, kelly, mister cassius, my mom, the girl that does my hair, brandon, alyson, my other dog, my backyard, edward norton and many more


When was the last time you talked to your number 2?

i dont talk to my shit, thanks.



Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
who cares

Are you ticklish?

yes




Are you typically a jealous person?

i dont even have that as an emotion




Do you know anyone that smokes pot?

omg no 




What did you do last saturday?
things i'm not typing on the internet


What will you do after the survey?
probs watch last nights episode of gossip girl


Can you sing?
yes i don't really know anyone that has heard me sing in a long time though



Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?

i organize group discussions weekly and we light candles and cuddle and talk about emotions




First thing you do when you wake up?

pee



What's on your bedroom floor right now?

record player, my wellingtons



What do you currently hear?
phoenix


Was your last kiss a mistake?
um 
that would be a little akward...? oh excuse me i didnt mean to kiss you i thought you were someone else. my mistake.
"


Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?

yes


Who was your last text from? Do you text this person a lot?

im not about to get my phone

Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?

hasnt happened yet


Do you trust people easily?
fuck nooooo


Are you easily scared by horror movies?

not while they are on but later i always freak out and think my entire life is a horror film.



Have you ever been in a difficult relationship?

i am a difficult relationship




Have you ever punched a tree?

its possible

 but doubtful

Does someone like you right now?
i'd imagine

What was the last thing you argued about with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?

who cares


Do you think you'll make a good parent?

actually yes


Are you taller than 5'5"?
i am 5'5" when i wear heels

Are you in a good mood?
for sure



Do you like to argue?

no i always win so whats the point




Have you ever felt replaced?

yeah but it never works

What do you do when you have a bad day?

slit my wrists
 and play world of warcraft to drown out my sorrowz

When is the next time you will see the perso​n you like?​​
i like everyone

Do you ever think​ "​​what if" about​ anyth​ing?​​
ya but for stupid shit (i.e. "what if everyone carried around beach balls all the time") i try not to dwell on the serious aspect of "what if"

Have you ever regre​tted anyth​ing?​​
for like a minute. thats no way to live your life. unless you're regretting a poor life decision.

Do you judge​ peopl​e you don' t know?​​
for sure we all do. i try not to though

What is somet​hing you feel you NEED in life?​​
food and water

Are you happy​ with the way thing​s are going​?​​
most definitely

Looki​ng forwa​rd to somet​hing this weeke​nd?​​
21st birthdays and the return of my love, brian

Do you hate when peopl​e smoke​ aroun​d you?
ewwwwwwwww

Do you drink​ tea?
i fucking love tea

Who' s bed were you last in, besid​es your own?
who cares

In the past week have you cried​?​​
yes

Do you have any bruis​es?​​
no i don't

Dark hair or light​ hair in the oppos​ite sex?
dark dark dark dark dark dark dark dark. LOOPHOLE: if htey have dreads it doesnt matter

Would​ you ever consi​der pierc​ing your lip?
probably not. not really my style

Last place​ you went?​​
bathroom to wash my face.

Who are your favor​ite peopl​e to talk to when you’r​e down?​​
george clooney and oprah winfrey

What time did you wake up this morni​ng?​​
um i dont know early 8

What woke you up this morni​ng?​​
caitlin knocking on my door saying "are you awake"

Have you ever been awake​ for more then 2 night​s strai​ght?​​
adderall days prob

At the momen​t,​​ are you more warm or cold?​​
idk i'm good

When was the last time you saw snow?​​
last winter

Do you still​ turn to your paren​ts for advic​e or comfo​rt?​​
duhhhhhhhhhhhh

Have you ever spent​ the night​ in a bed with the oppos​ite sex?
eww NO WAY

Are you keepi​ng a big secre​t right​ now?
if i am i don't remember it so i guess im doing a good job

Do you have a gay frien​d?​​
i am a fruit fly

Who do you live with?​​
my room mates

Last time you talke​d to your mom?
last night

Do you throw​ up gang signs​?​​
no first of all i'm white second of all i'm not lame

Have you ever had sex in churc​h?​​
never really sparked my interest

Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you fell harde​st for?
indeed from time to time

Do you prefe​r to take showe​rs at night​ or in the morni​ng?​​
night

Are you liste​ning to music​ right​ now?
phoenix

Does anyon​e hate you?
probably

Are you any good at math?​​
hell na

Have you ever been a gymna​st or a cheer​leade​r?​​
cheerleader in elementry for a little, gymnastics for a good minute

What are you looki​ng forwa​rd to in the next three​ month​s?​​
many many things

Anyon​e on your mind?​​
not really

Do you find the oppos​ite sex confu​sing?​​
i'm sure it goes both ways

Have you had alcoh​ol this week?​​
no because sunday started the new week

Where​ is the perso​n you like?​​
i don't like anyone

On a scale​ of 1-​​10,​​ how good is your life?​​
11

Have you lost frien​ds in the past years​?​​
yes


Do you think​ you have made a diffe​rence​ in anyon​e'​​s life?​​
hopefully


Are you mean?​​
sometimes


What actio​ns do you do when you'​​re reall​y nervo​us?​​
it varies i usually just don't talk

Do you think​ you'​​ll get along​ bette​r with your sibli​ngs when you get older​?​​
no

10/12/88--5/3/09

I miss my friend. I came back Saturday from the most amazing week, happy as a clam, with my faith in humanity restored. I realized that there are people out there that care so much about what I care about. Hell, people from as far as Vancouver and New Zealand came here just to stand up for what they believed in. That was amazing. I felt amazing. I still feel amazing when I look back on it. I wish I could re-live that entire week every morning before I started my day. I would be in a blissful state for the rest of my life.

I woke up on Sunday to a series of phone calls of something that I didn't want to believe. The same thing happened when Candice died, and I never wanted to experience that again for a long, long time. I can't put into words my emotions because I am not sure if I have any left. I miss my friend. I will miss having in depth conversations about music. I will miss driving past her house and beeping. I will always remember us having to be moved to opposite sides of the room in classes, and yet we'd still talk. I will miss her sarcastic comments and wit and laughter and kindness and intelligence and smile and friendship. I miss my friend.

I will miss the girl that defied all stereotypes. I will miss the girl that had such strong determination and intelligence, yet was so humble. I will miss her sending me all of her "You Know You're Korean If" things. I will miss doing the "aZn PriDe" symbols every time I saw her. I will miss her coming to my parties and everybody freaking out. In fact, I will miss everyone freaking out just because of the fact that she was in the room. I will miss asking her on a daily basis if she had found the cure to cancer yet (I know in my heart that she would have.) I will miss the girl that put a smile on everybody's face. I will miss the girl that never once doubted me. I will miss my friend.

The only thing that is comforting me is that I know that her and Candice are doing calculus or something together, and laughing and reunited (and it feels so good.) This too shall pass, and now instead of one person looking out for me, I've got a dynamic duo. She would never want me or anyone to make a fuss about her, but I love her and need to honor a life that truly touched mine. She can now finally take it easy and relax.

in a world of suffering, why should i be so blessed?

I am typing this on my Blackberry on the floor of a church that is allowing us to set up camp for Chicago's The Rescue. I have spoken with people from Texas, Minnesota, Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, and Minnesota who have been so selfless as to come out here to support the cause. I am surrounded by so many good people right now and it truly warms my heart. The number of roadies coming in tomorrow from different places and/or COUNTRIES is supposed to double by 9 AM tomorrow.

I feel as if most everyone on this planet is interested in miniscule things in life (myself included, I'm typing this on a Blackberry for crying out loud. Talk about pointless.) However, that's all they are: things.

When we leave this Earth none of those things come with us. All we have is what we accomplished (or lack thereof), our talents, our passions, the relationships we formed with others... that is what matters. In the end we are all humans.

Why is it that so many people, who aside from all of our materialistic items and unimportant "needs," are just like us, and yet are forgotton? Why have so many people been denied their basic rights as HUMANS?

I can go on about Hurricane Katrina or all things Middle-Eastern... Basically a number of evil happenings that are in our current world, but the fact of the matter is this war in Central Africa has been going on for twenty three years.

If we cannot take the time to solve something that has been happening for so long, how do we expect anything else to get situated? How is the (Chicago) media even denying this particular event (The Rescue) be covered because they feel it brings bad press to the city? God forbit we be denied the graaaaaaand priviledge of hosting the 2016 Olympics..................

The fact of the matter is, I came out here with five of my friends who have the same compassion for others that I have and to see so many others warms my heart, it also breaks it just the same.

I guess I just wish more people cared. I wish people would take that extra ten minutes out of their day to get informed on something that is affecting so many innocent people.

But most turn the other way and ignore because they don't want to feel affected.

Today in my Enlightenment class we talked about the power of ego. That is the problem. People are afraid to let some emotions in because they are far too worried about themselves. I feel sad for those people.

I got a chance to see the three Invisible Children founders/filmmakers in the flesh (basically considered celeb status for me) and I am just so overwhelmed.

I have followed their work and been inspired by them for years and never had I dreamed I would be in the same room as them. Never had I imagined I would get to tell Bobby Bailey what an impact his work has made on my life. And I did! And I am really beyond elated.
Tomorrow is going to be an amazing day. I fully realized tonight what I want to do with my life and my future work and that is help people. Tonight goes down as the most inspiring moment I have encountered in my twenty years. Very cool.

punctuation is powerful

A college professor wrote
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the board and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All the males in the class wrote "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote "A woman: without her, man is nothing."


Punctuation is powerful.

fuck angelina jolie

I hope all these children adopted by Hollywood hags don't forget their African roots.

humans suck sometimes

I am spending this week in Florida, and since I spend the majority of my time on or near a computer, I figured I would stay away from one for one whole week. Since I have become quite accustomed to my Blackberry, I am sort of cheating and typing a blog on this. I don't even have to look sometimes as I type. It's pretty spectacular. Anywho, the one thing I refuse to get away from for a week is the news. This afternoon I was browsing NYTimes and there was an article about how the effects of Chernobyl are affecting the animals inhabiting the area more than they had previously thought.

This got me thinking about an article that I had read on Science-a-Go-Go (I'm such a dork) the other day. The article wasn't exactly current, as it was printed in '05, but it was pretty amazing. It told how nearly 20 years later, although humans cannot live there, nature is flourishing. Mother Earth does not recognize the high amount radiation in the air, and scientists haven't seen anything like that area in a long while. We do not allow nature to grow anymore... There is always this constant need to BUILD, BUILD, BUILD. Fuck that.

childhood nostalgia/unhatched life plans

I miss coming home after school and turning on Boy Meets World. I miss singing Sonny & Cher and James Taylor songs at the top of my lungs throughout my house. I miss dial-up Internet. I miss my biggest worry was whether or not my mom was going to call me in for dinner during the peak of our neighborhood game of "release."

I remember when I was sixteen or so I thought I was a super bad ass. My life consisted of going on high-rides on "The Track," a renown road amongst high school students (and now Peters Township Police) located in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, playing lacrosse, driving around listening to Belle and Sebastian and American Analog Set with my boyfriend at the time and going to the Warhol every Sunday with him, riding the trolley downtown, drunk off red wine discussing ridiculous scenarios. I had ideas racing through my head all the time. I was so much more creative than I am now. I was drawing more often. I made most if not all of my clothing; if I hadn't made it, it was altered into the most ridiculous creation ever. I was so goddamn carefree All I wanted to do with my life was make clothing for people and just be on my own. I couldn't wait to grow up, go to school at Parson's, graduate, open up my own boutique, blah blah blah blah blah...

Always one to follow my dreams, I decided to apply for summer Parson's one day. I got accepted into their art program, went there not knowing a single soul, met some of the most beautiful, down-to-earth people in the world, lived in the heart of Greenwich Village, and I had hands down I think the best summer of my lifetime. Imagine being six-fucking-teen free to run around the biggest city in our country.

I never once made my way out towards Times Square.
Too many tourists.

So many memories running around Alphabet City and the LES watching all the hot skater boys do their thing, talking to strangers and just hearing their stories, seeing Ryan Adams and Parker Posey chillin on their front porch nearly every day on the way home from classes, being on a first-name basis with all the homeless people and musicians in Washington Square Park, going to the Saturday flea markets I had read about for years in Teen Vogue... if I could only go back. Although some of my raddest and most memorable experiences, I realized how much more I just like visiting New York City as opposed to living there, realized how pretentious the field of fashion was (or possibly just the entire Parson's population) realized I still couldn't wait to grow up and get the fuck out of high school...

I came here not knowing a single soul, made wonderful friends and memories, but recently I feel as if I am on auto-pilot. Hearing the words that I will be graduating AGAIN slightly freaked me out. Where did all this time go and where was I during it all? What the fuck? Didn't I just graduate like 2 years ago?

When Ceec died it hit me pretty hard and I told myself I would never waste a day again in my life. I would appreciate my time on this earth more. I started reading more. I applied to tutor homeless children every week. Went through that training. Joined an organization to help re-build areas damaged by Katrina. I started drawing more, started writing more, I think I made a better conversationalist... I was never just "sitting around" or a boring person.

I've been doing that so much these past two semesters; I have taken on such a heavy workload (for me) and I just almost feel jaded in a way. Anyone who knows me knows I often get epiphanies and today I had one. This one is a little larger than usual, but epiphany nonetheless. My dad went to medical school in Rome for 9 years, and since hearing stories and everything, I had always wanted so bad to do something like that. Since I am obviously not pursuing a medical degree, I figured why not take baby steps and just sort of go live in another country following graduation.

I want to go somewhere in Europe, that way I am free to virtually see a number of various places, simply by hopping on a train or ferry. I would also like to make my way to England to see Victoria. There are just so many beautiful spots that I am stoked to see while I am over there.

I sort of planned out how I would like my next few years to go, and although I am really not a planner, I hope it works out. It will work out. Before I get out into the "real world," I would like to get to be my sixteen year old self again, traveling to some unknown area alone, running around exploring all there is to see and embracing all the people there are to meet. Except this time on an entirely new continent. Doin' it!

detroit annie, hitchhiking.

her words pour out as if her throat were a broken artery
and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled.
you imagine her in a huge velvet hat with great
dangling black feathers,
but she shaves her head instead
and goes for three-day midnight walks.
sometimes she goes down to the dock and dances
off the end of it, simply to prove her belief

that people who
can-
not
walk on water are phonies
.... or dead.

when she is cruel, she is very, very
cool and when she is kind she is lavish...

fisherman think perhaps she's a fish,
but they're all fools.
she figured out that the only way
to keep from being frozen was to
stay in motion, and long ago converted
most of her flesh into liquid.

now when she smells danger,
she spills herself all over,
like gasoline, and lights it.

she leaves the taste
of salt
and iron
under
your
tongue,
... but you don't mind.

the common woman is as common
as the reddest wine.

ceecs light

"he said ani, you've gotten tough
'cause my tone was curt
yeah, and when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
in this city
self-preservation
is a full time occupation
I'm determined
to survive on this shore
you know I don't
avert my eyes anymore

in a man's world
I am a woman by birth
and after nineteen times around I have found
they will stop at nothing
once they know what you are worth
talk to me now...

I played the powerless
in too many dark scenes
and I was blessed with a birth and a death
and I guess I just want some say in between
don't you understand
in the day to day
and the face to face
I have to act
just as strong as I can
just to preserve a place
where I can be who I am
so if you still know how
talk to me now"

I was walking home from class and this song came on my iPod. Although it's pretty cold and the wind is ruthless, I can feel Candice's warmth in this beautiful sunshine. I like to think that the sun is simply her laugh and smile alone. =) This will forever be her song.