I miss my friend. I came back Saturday from the most amazing week, happy as a clam, with my faith in humanity restored. I realized that there are people out there that care so much about what I care about. Hell, people from as far as Vancouver and New Zealand came here just to stand up for what they believed in. That was amazing. I felt amazing. I still feel amazing when I look back on it. I wish I could re-live that entire week every morning before I started my day. I would be in a blissful state for the rest of my life.
I woke up on Sunday to a series of phone calls of something that I didn't want to believe. The same thing happened when Candice died, and I never wanted to experience that again for a long, long time. I can't put into words my emotions because I am not sure if I have any left. I miss my friend. I will miss having in depth conversations about music. I will miss driving past her house and beeping. I will always remember us having to be moved to opposite sides of the room in classes, and yet we'd still talk. I will miss her sarcastic comments and wit and laughter and kindness and intelligence and smile and friendship. I miss my friend.
I will miss the girl that defied all stereotypes. I will miss the girl that had such strong determination and intelligence, yet was so humble. I will miss her sending me all of her "You Know You're Korean If" things. I will miss doing the "aZn PriDe" symbols every time I saw her. I will miss her coming to my parties and everybody freaking out. In fact, I will miss everyone freaking out just because of the fact that she was in the room. I will miss asking her on a daily basis if she had found the cure to cancer yet (I know in my heart that she would have.) I will miss the girl that put a smile on everybody's face. I will miss the girl that never once doubted me. I will miss my friend.
The only thing that is comforting me is that I know that her and Candice are doing calculus or something together, and laughing and reunited (and it feels so good.) This too shall pass, and now instead of one person looking out for me, I've got a dynamic duo. She would never want me or anyone to make a fuss about her, but I love her and need to honor a life that truly touched mine. She can now finally take it easy and relax.
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