25 things i hate about facebook

I remember when I was younger and everyone was still down with postage stamps girls from my circle of friends and my Brownie troop would send out those "chain letters" and you had to send it to ten people and blah blah blah. I remember it being fun and exciting and I usually participated in them. Then once the age of the Internet arrived, we got AOL at my house and my friends would send me those e-chain letters that'd say, "ScRoLL aNd MaKe a WiSh!!!" I fucking loved that stuff. I always wished to marry JC Chasez from *NSYNC... kinda glad that didn't come true.

But even so back in those days it was a luxury to go online for at most an hour, go on AIM, talk to my friends for a little bit, and then sign off with a way-cool "g2g" because my mom needed to use the telephone (oh, dial-up). Now I feel like people (including myself) use the internet as the main source of communication. It's always struck me as funny when peoples profiles on Facebook are as lengthy as they are; I came across some girl from my hometown with I think two paragraphs from each section. Why is there this constant need to tell people all these things about yourself?

A few weeks ago one of those little chain letters made many a news article. It was the most passed around chain letter or "Facebook note" in history. I think something like 5 million people participated in this thing. I am so confused as to why on a social networking site where I can read your activities, interests, favorite movies, books, music, quotes AND read your little "about me" section, there is a reason you are writing 25 things about yourself.

I don't give a shit if you prefer your bagels with locks sans cream cheese or if your favorite show is The Hills.

That shit is pointless. What is your passion? Why is your favorite book your favorite book? What's the coolest thing that has ever happened to you, besides like, you getting a free tanning package? Self consumption, mass consumption, I don't care for it.

some creature fear

www.sorry-mom.com

best website ever.

christmas mix #1

seems like a lot of people are doing this, but whatevs

1. all i want for christmas is us - tristan prettyman/jason mraz
2. have yourself a merry little christmas - coldplay
3. its christmas time - yo la tengo
4. hey parker, its christmas - ryan adams
5. holly jolly christmas - martin sexton (love him)
6. all i want for christmas is you - mariah carey (duh)
7. lo, how a rose e're blooming - feist
8. happy christmas (war is over) - john lennon
9. silent night - dr. john
10. it feels like christmas - al green
11. up on the housetop - jackson 5
12. goin home for christmas - merle haggard
13. winter wonderland - aretha franklin
14. christmas must be tonight - the band
15. carol of the bells - bird and the bee
16. silent night - ween
17. run rudolph run - chuck berry
18. all that i want - the weepies
19. soulful christmas - james brown
20. xmas cake - rilo kiley
21. jingle bells - booker t
22. a change at christmas - the flaming lips

most recent playlist

Shit I've been listening to.

Flume - Bon Iver
Don't Wait For The Needle To Drop - Dosh
Noni's Field - Anathallo
Walking Down The Line - Arlo Guthrie
Hawaii - Meiko
Murderer - Low
Single Ladies (Mayberry Remix) - Party Ben
Libraries - Seabear
Over Retired Explorer - The Weakerthans
Creeper - Islands
Never Stops - Deerhunter
Rescue Me - Aretha Franklin
Song For The Rich - Tristan Prettyman
White As Diamonds - Alela Diane (may be my new obsession)
Hearts and Minds - Matt Pond PA
Little Plastic Castles - Ani DiFranco
Long Journey Home - Cornmeal
Come On Santa - The Ravonettes
In The Hot, Hot Rays - Fleet Foxes
Red Hot Drops - Chad VanGaalen
Quiet Houses - Fleet Foxes
How Lucky We Are - Meiko
That Tattoo Isn't Funny Anymore - Owen
Cross Oceans - First Aid Kit
Up The Middle - Buck 65
The Number Song - DJ Shadow
The White Unicorn - Wolfmother
Play With Fire - Johnny Thunders
Running In Faith - Eric Clapton
Sweet About Me - Gabriella Climi
Chemo Limo - Regina Spektor
Til It Happens To You - Corinne Bailey Rae (I will always be obsessed with this song)
Season Of The Witch - Dr. John

jimmy fallon

So last spring they announced that Jimmy Fallon is to replace Conan O'Brien in early next year (I think February or March? I'm not too concerned). Jimmy Fallon is one of the most annoying people I've ever watched. He laughs at his own jokes, he ruined virtually every scene he was ever in, and is (dare I say) a bit too animated. He always has and always will be the guy that could never stay in character or deliver a good line. However, he is still about to replace one of the funniest people today.

So Lorne Michaels I guess is trying out this new thing, where Jimmy Fallon holds a weekly webcast getting the public ready for what is going to be one of the worst late-night shows ever. I decided to give it a go, because I thought, well maybe he got a bit funnier. He is actually quite the opposite. While he still manages to "overuse" his hands while talking, he is not exactly trying to be funny. He basically just shows you what the studio looks like, and at the end introduces the audience to his future house band, The Roots.

What are they thinking? Really?

beautiful words

blossom
kangaroo
chimes
delicate
mother
peace
epiphany
myrrh (maybe cause i like saying "merrrr" a lot)
inspissate
marigold
laughter
peek-a-boo
melody
twinkle
plethora (so good)
quintessential
whisper
meander
lovely
porcelain
obsequious
sycamore
aestivate
sunshine
elysium
cozy
champagne
malignant
fragile
destiny
freedom
serendipity
butterfly
renaissance
persnickety (my favorite word ever)

i will probably think of more

fuck off wikipedia

So I was writing a piece talking about how the Internet as a news outlet is becoming less and less legit. Online news blogs, wikipedia, all that good stuff. I decided to make a Wikipedia to see how long it stayed up to prove just how legitimate the site really is. This was what it said:

The cutest and coolest girl not only on the North American continent, but Earth as a whole. Born on August 31, 1988, Laura graced the entire planet with her grace, intelligence and all around liveliness. She is a plethora of knowledge, and has written stories ranging from airline travel during the holiday seasons, reality television to her most recent, a fabrication of a peyote trip that took place in Omaha, Nebraska. Laura is currently dabbling in free lance writing while studying journalism at Columbia College Chicago.

In my opinion, I didn't say anything that was false, I don't need to worry about any copyright or sources (maybe where it says "coolest girl" cause I'm sure some may disagree) so what's the issue? I originally had it as the first two lines just for shits and giggles; I realized I would have to have some sort of seriousness thrown in there, which is why I added the bit about where I am attending school and shit like that. Maybe the fact that I mentioned my peyote story I'm working on, but even so Wikipedia isn't even accepted in any form of academic sourcing so if they aren't technically legit, why can't they allow me to have my own outlet via their website? Pretty much what Wikipedia just did could be described as the ultimate rejection. I'll be back in a few years, just give me some time.

how to tell if you're sitting behind an asshole on an airplane

I found this in my files as I was deleting things. I think this was meant to be posted.

I’m sitting in LAX waiting for my connecting flight to get back to Chicago. As I was sitting here staring at the guy from Varsity Blues who is on my flight for whatever reason (why couldn’t it have been Shia LeBouf?), I got to thinking about my flight from Maui to Los Angeles. I’m a pretty easy-going person for the most part, but there are certain things you just don’t do. Some of these things may vary, as I’m sure not everyone agrees on some things that I find dreadful and bad mannered. However, fucking ask me if you can recline your seat all the way back on a six hour flight, dickbag.

I’m sure mostly everyone I know has been on an airplane at least once in his or her lives. Given that simple knowledge, think back to how uncomfortable airplanes usually are (unless you’re riding first class, but even so the chairs are just softer and wider). Now imagine this:

--- You’re on a five and a half hour redeye flight over the Pacific Ocean, and you’re watching season 2 of Weeds on your laptop. You begin to doze off since it is like 1 AM or something like that and you’re enjoying a nice little snooze. All of a sudden your laptop falls to your lap, the plastic tray in front of you forces itself into your thigh, and part of the water that you had been drinking spills all over your lap and just barely misses your laptop. On top of all of that, you’ve just been woken up. In your sleepy haze you try to understand what just happened; it takes you a minute but you realize the asshole sitting in front of you decided to fully recline without talking it over with you first.

Now I’m not sure if anyone is as much of a bitch as I am when I have been woken up, but naturally I was fucking pissed. What was this guy thinking? Aside from him, the lady next to me was sprawled out, arm crossing over the line which can be recognized as the arm rest. Fed up, I packed my laptop back up, placed the cup in the pocket of the seat, and proceeded to do what any noble lady would do: I kicked my feet up and pushed with all my might.

After a minute or so of struggles, my short but forceful legs finally got him to an upright position where I was comfortable enough to remain where I was. In the meantime, a movie had started on the television screen. I hadn’t ever heard of it, but it was nearly impossible for me to continue watching Weeds as I had been prior to this catastrophe. Removing my headphones from my iPod to place them in the outlet on my arm rest (which was yet another feat since the ladys arm was still pretty much conquering it) so I could hear the film, he begins to squirm. He starts rocking back and forth, almost forcing me to give in. My knees felt like they were going to buckle several times but I refused to let him take over the minimal space I had. I looked around to see if maybe I was just being a bitch, but nobody else on the fully packed airplane seemed to be as reclined as he was.

I resumed my focus to the film, which was quite good in fact, despite the many interruptions, due to this guy not being able to recline. There was one point where he literally turned around, stood up, and sat down forcefully. I pretended to sleep this entire time all the while using all my strength to make sure his chair was upright. I think the term for my actions is called “passive aggression”. I think the term for his actions is “rude”, so it evens out. Bottom line, if you want to invade someone’s personal space, maybe ask them if it’s okay with them first. It usually won’t be.

caution moving walkway is nearing its end

I think that a true test of how much patience one actually does have is to travel in airports during the holidays.

Take Me As I Am - Wyclef
What A Wonderful World - Katie Melua & Eva Cassidy
My Lover Will Go - Ane Brun
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne
Make Me Stay - Ani DiFranco
Preparedness - The Bird and The Bee
Life In The Rain - Quantic
Gonna Have A Funky Good Time - James Brown
Nematode - Lotus
When I Go - Brett Dennen
The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
Ocean - John Butler Trio (one of the most amazing guitar solos I've ever heard)
Mr. Big Stuff - Jean Knight
Lost Woman Song - Ani DiFranco
Pick Yer Nose - Ani DiFranco
Paper Thin Walls - Modest Mouse
California Soul - Marlena Shaw
Til It Happens To You - Corrinne Bailey Rae (obsessed with this song)

joanna newsom

So I'm sure anyone who knows me knows that Joanna Newsom is probably the only female vocalist that I would ever refuse to listen to unless it was a rare moment or at least very sparingly. I got bored with whatever I was listening to earlier, and I put on some Joanna. Now, she still annoys the hell out of me 90% of the time, but I actually took the time to listen to every song I had because I was just writing a paper, and believe it or not I kind of like some songs. I have decided to compile a list of the songs that annoy me though, because ranting is much more fun.

SONGS THAT ANNOY ME:

1. Sadie.
--- Within the first three seconds of this song she hits some weird ass note and it just sounds somewhat painful. If she removed the "SAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIEEEEE", "BLLEEEEEEESSSSSSS YOU", "REEEEESOLUTE", "QUAAAAAARTER", "DOOOO! LOSE", etc. parts of this song, I would quite frankly enjoy it. I think it's funny when she says tellerphone.

2. Three Little Babes
--- Her voice is exceptionally annoying in this song. I like how the song goes; it reminds me of Native Americans for some reason which is cool. She is just way too fucking shrill. Norah Jones should do a cover and it'd probably be beautiful. Maybe just cause I'm obsessed with Norah, but I think it'd be a good idea. Norah, if you're reading this, get on it when you're done cutting all your hair off and testing out the indie waters.

3. Peach, Plum, Pear
--- The background music reminds me of something that would be played during a segment of some kind during the mid 80's. She kind of sounds like that one old lady from Now and Then that gives the psychic reading and does voices for the documentaries about haunted places on the History Channel... only singing. I could see this song growing on me and me playing it, resulting in everyone around me resenting me for it.

4. Erin
--- The harp is absolutely breathtaking in this song. And then she sings. I think it's songs of hers that contain a female name are just bound to be shrill. It's in the middle of tolerable and annoying, mostly because I like this particular album of hers. If she wasn't singing the harp would be so peaceful to listen to on a sunny day.

5. What We Have Known
--- "WE KNOW NOT NOW WHAT WE HAVE KNOWN." I think that's all I need to say about this song. The harp is once again beautiful, however.

6. Sprout and Bean
--- This song is tolerable until she starts repeating herself about 3/4 through the song. There's a harp solo towards the end though which is pretty bad ass. "Harp solo" sounds funny.

7. Cassiopeia
--- This song makes me think I'm listening to a deaf five year old child pick at random strings and make up places like "Mt. Sleepy." The lyrics are kind of trippy, and she's singing things like "go to sleep, sky" or something, which then makes me think that she's referring to the constellation Cassiopeia. It also makes me think "who the fuck could ever sleep while this chick sings?" Now Norah Jones on the other hand...

wherever you are i swear you'll be my angel

It's hard to believe that it has been one year. While I will never fully understand why someone like her had to be taken away, I know that she will always be here. The sun was shining so bright yesterday and the breeze was perfect; it was sunny east coast, central, and west coast today and I'm sure it's because she is letting everyone know it's all good. I came across a quote in one of my readings today, and it said, "A man is not dead if he is still talked about." I liked that a lot. I know many, many people talk about, think about and remember her on a daily, hourly, even minute by minute basis. She is alive on Earth through the words and memories and always will. I'm sure she's wherever she is doing some pretty fucking cool shit while at the same time hanging out, watching over everyone. I Love you Ceec!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEh2iijehHM&feature=PlayList&p=61300A2D3167BBF0&index=0

guido men

In case I ever forget these incident(s), I want it in writing that I witnessed a MAN complain about him getting rained on. And I quote, "Ah fuck, I'm getting rained on. 'Scuse me girls." Gay? No. I'd understand. Guido? Yes. Unacceptable but totally predictable. Sorry, let me get out of the way so your new haircut doesn't get rained on, guy. People wonder why I prefer live music dive bars...

I then went inside and sat back down with the guys who we'd made friends with (they had bottle service..) I was innocently talking to some guy, I couldn't even tell you what the conversation was about, and these girl next to us who also had bottle service at her table leans over towards me.

"If one more guy comes up to you that I don't like, I'm going to tell him you're my girlfriend"
--I nervously let out a laugh... all that was going through my mind was "What the fuck?"
She's like, "I may have to get you more drunk so I can actually get some action from you later"
Disgusted, I tell her I have a boyfriend. She seemed a little upset, and kept asking me how long we'd been together, and what his name was, blah blah blah. I just went along with it although I really didn't find it necessary for her to be asking me these questions. I sincerely hope that was the first and last time I will ever have to steer a chick away from me because quite frankly, it freaked me out.

Meggie and I then went and got a burrito after her set, and proceeded to put on a concert in a parking garage to songs from the late 90's. I love NSYNC. I miss being like 11 and having JC Chasez and Travis Barker all over my walls thinking that one day I would marry them. Yes, both of them. I'll take Travis, but JC now not so much...

hug life

god bless our dead marines - a silver mt. zion
caribou lou - tech n9ne
la belle et le bad boy - mc solaar (thanks sex and the city)
boom boom - will dailey
great dj - the ting tings (growing on me?)
it's amazing - jem
letter to a john - ani difranco
beauty flies - lykke li vs. gui boratto (hood internet)
time flies - lykke li (i've fallen asleep during this song for the past week or so)
9 crimes - damien rice
trouble is a friend - lenka
life in the rain - quantic
pushin on - the herbaliser (these people may be my new favorites, and they are coming tuesday... yippie)
viva la vida - coldplay (whatever)
my president - young jeezy
dead and gone - t.i./justin timberlake
good girl gone bad - rihanna
you're all i need - method man =D
jolene - ray lamontagne
lover - devendra banhart
fields of gold - eva cassidy
when i go - brett dennen
imaginary places - busdriver
small town apology - team9 vs. stereogum (this song sounds like drugs; i just like the lyrics to that apologize song by one republic)

--------------------------

let's kill first the banker
with his professional demeanour
let's televise and broadcast
the raping of kings
let our crowds be fed on
tear gas and plate-glass
cause a people united
is a wonderful thing
i know that you're dying
and i know i'm unwell
and together we sashay
through variations of hell

and as you walk through valleys of fear
the lure of my bed is ever near
oh, don't be afraid, though the parade
will not pass our way
it's nobler to never get paid
than to bank on shit and dismay

manic monday

8 something AM: Some man stops his car to tell me on my way to class how good I look in my skirt. This freaks me out and is quite frankly annoying considering I had just woken up. I continue to walk as he continues to yell at me.

Noon: I try to print my papers for my writing for satire class. Printer doesn't work.

Ten minutes later: Attempt to print in the computer lab (what a good discovery I hadn't known you could print there, so that's good). Oasis is down (duh) and therefore I cannot print my shit.

3 something PM: I am approached by one of those fucking hair people on the street. He asks me if I like deep tissue massages and continues to pester me as I try to smoke my cigarette in peace. He continues to talk and I just keep laughing. He eventually gives up and walks away.

Three or so minutes later: I notice some kid staring at me. He walks up to me and insists that I give him my number. Although he's pretty fucking hot, he's far too persistent and annoying.

Two seconds after he walks away I am about to walk into my building, and I hear some girl say "excuse me!" I look over, I see she has a cigarette in her hand, but no lighter. I assume she wants to use my lighter.

Girl: Aren't you cold?
Me: No....?
Girl: I'm freezing
Me: I'm sorry

I get to the floor my class is on, and I run into Kiersten, Chris that I had class with last year, Alex Small, Ian and Troy. Fun little reunion considering I had no idea any of them were in that building at that time. I tell Kiersten the stories that just occurred in the past five minutes.

What a pointless conversation? I then walked into class which was basically kind of pointless as we talked about drunken times as opposed to anything of substance whatsoever. I leave class and this Chris character basically follows me halfway home. I now have to go to the Apple store seeing as how I spilled lime juice on it last night.

I now know what that 80's band meant when they sang their acclaimed masterpiece "Manic Monday"

brown eyes

if the elephants have past lives
yet are destined to always remember
it's no wonder how they scream
like you and i, they must have some temper
and i am dreaming of them on the plains,
dirtying up their beds,
watching for some kind of rain to cool their hot heads
and how dare that you send me that card
when I'm doing all that i can do...
you are forcing me to remember
when all I want is to just forget you
if the tiger shall protect her young, then tell me how did you slip by?
all my instincts have failed me for once --
i must have somehow slept the whole night

and i am dreaming of them with their kill, tearing it all apart,
blood dripping from their lips, and teeth sinking into heart....
and how dare that you say you will call,
when you know i need some peace of mind..
if you had to take sides with the animals,
won't you do it with one who is kind?

if the hawks in the trees need the dead,
if you're living you don't stand a chance
you can lie there and say you are fed,
but there are only two ends to this dance
you can flee with your wounds just in time,
or lie there as he feeds,
watching yourself ripped to shreds
and laughing as you bleed

so for those of you falling in love:
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger,
but keep one eye open at night...

obamanon

I still can't really get over the fact that i was a part of the Grant Park insanity the other night. To be in this country at such a time as this is so amazing, but it's hard for me to understand that I was RIGHT THERE. It was crazy that no one was really chanting "Obama", but rather "U-S-A!" over and over; it's almost as if we finally were proud to be Americans again. I can't stop listening to "My President" by Young Jeezy... I love it. I just can't believe it. I've noticed a change in the way people treat one another lately as well. I don't know. I'm just fucking really happy.

uh

since i don't really write anything with substance in this thing:

100 year flood - string cheese incident
1976 - RJD2
bird brain - fiery furnaces
summer wine - nancy sinatra
long way home - norah jones
fresh rhythm - quantic soul orchestra
13 angels standing... - a silver mt. zion (this entire album will never get old to me)
everything'll be alright - joshua radin
star mile - joshua radin
root groove - wax poetic
the groove that just won't stop - time machine
duet (w/ ray lamontagne) - rachael yamagata
rough gem - islands
sister rosetta goes before us - alison kraus/r plant
hawaii - meiko (just reminds me of being there ohhhh about a month ago. fuck)
THE GREATEST - CAT POWER over and over and over
don't let me fall - lenka
soco amaretto lime - brand new (brings good memories)
i don't blame you - cat power
butterfly - mason jennings
spades - zox
east to the west - michael franti
the entire the hood internet vs. lykke li
rising up - the roots
someone great - lcd soundsystem
cherry blossom girl - air
accidental deth - rilo kiley
pool shark - sublime (via robbin the hood, however)
yer so bad - tom petty
world spins madly on - the weepies
sunshine - g. love
like a prayer - madonna
gold to me - ben harper
try - nelly furtado
our house - csny
the trapeze swinger - iron and wine
beautiful - snoop dogg, blah blah blah
dog faced boy - phish
the man comes around - johnny cash
had a dat - sublime