fuck angelina jolie

I hope all these children adopted by Hollywood hags don't forget their African roots.

humans suck sometimes

I am spending this week in Florida, and since I spend the majority of my time on or near a computer, I figured I would stay away from one for one whole week. Since I have become quite accustomed to my Blackberry, I am sort of cheating and typing a blog on this. I don't even have to look sometimes as I type. It's pretty spectacular. Anywho, the one thing I refuse to get away from for a week is the news. This afternoon I was browsing NYTimes and there was an article about how the effects of Chernobyl are affecting the animals inhabiting the area more than they had previously thought.

This got me thinking about an article that I had read on Science-a-Go-Go (I'm such a dork) the other day. The article wasn't exactly current, as it was printed in '05, but it was pretty amazing. It told how nearly 20 years later, although humans cannot live there, nature is flourishing. Mother Earth does not recognize the high amount radiation in the air, and scientists haven't seen anything like that area in a long while. We do not allow nature to grow anymore... There is always this constant need to BUILD, BUILD, BUILD. Fuck that.

childhood nostalgia/unhatched life plans

I miss coming home after school and turning on Boy Meets World. I miss singing Sonny & Cher and James Taylor songs at the top of my lungs throughout my house. I miss dial-up Internet. I miss my biggest worry was whether or not my mom was going to call me in for dinner during the peak of our neighborhood game of "release."

I remember when I was sixteen or so I thought I was a super bad ass. My life consisted of going on high-rides on "The Track," a renown road amongst high school students (and now Peters Township Police) located in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, playing lacrosse, driving around listening to Belle and Sebastian and American Analog Set with my boyfriend at the time and going to the Warhol every Sunday with him, riding the trolley downtown, drunk off red wine discussing ridiculous scenarios. I had ideas racing through my head all the time. I was so much more creative than I am now. I was drawing more often. I made most if not all of my clothing; if I hadn't made it, it was altered into the most ridiculous creation ever. I was so goddamn carefree All I wanted to do with my life was make clothing for people and just be on my own. I couldn't wait to grow up, go to school at Parson's, graduate, open up my own boutique, blah blah blah blah blah...

Always one to follow my dreams, I decided to apply for summer Parson's one day. I got accepted into their art program, went there not knowing a single soul, met some of the most beautiful, down-to-earth people in the world, lived in the heart of Greenwich Village, and I had hands down I think the best summer of my lifetime. Imagine being six-fucking-teen free to run around the biggest city in our country.

I never once made my way out towards Times Square.
Too many tourists.

So many memories running around Alphabet City and the LES watching all the hot skater boys do their thing, talking to strangers and just hearing their stories, seeing Ryan Adams and Parker Posey chillin on their front porch nearly every day on the way home from classes, being on a first-name basis with all the homeless people and musicians in Washington Square Park, going to the Saturday flea markets I had read about for years in Teen Vogue... if I could only go back. Although some of my raddest and most memorable experiences, I realized how much more I just like visiting New York City as opposed to living there, realized how pretentious the field of fashion was (or possibly just the entire Parson's population) realized I still couldn't wait to grow up and get the fuck out of high school...

I came here not knowing a single soul, made wonderful friends and memories, but recently I feel as if I am on auto-pilot. Hearing the words that I will be graduating AGAIN slightly freaked me out. Where did all this time go and where was I during it all? What the fuck? Didn't I just graduate like 2 years ago?

When Ceec died it hit me pretty hard and I told myself I would never waste a day again in my life. I would appreciate my time on this earth more. I started reading more. I applied to tutor homeless children every week. Went through that training. Joined an organization to help re-build areas damaged by Katrina. I started drawing more, started writing more, I think I made a better conversationalist... I was never just "sitting around" or a boring person.

I've been doing that so much these past two semesters; I have taken on such a heavy workload (for me) and I just almost feel jaded in a way. Anyone who knows me knows I often get epiphanies and today I had one. This one is a little larger than usual, but epiphany nonetheless. My dad went to medical school in Rome for 9 years, and since hearing stories and everything, I had always wanted so bad to do something like that. Since I am obviously not pursuing a medical degree, I figured why not take baby steps and just sort of go live in another country following graduation.

I want to go somewhere in Europe, that way I am free to virtually see a number of various places, simply by hopping on a train or ferry. I would also like to make my way to England to see Victoria. There are just so many beautiful spots that I am stoked to see while I am over there.

I sort of planned out how I would like my next few years to go, and although I am really not a planner, I hope it works out. It will work out. Before I get out into the "real world," I would like to get to be my sixteen year old self again, traveling to some unknown area alone, running around exploring all there is to see and embracing all the people there are to meet. Except this time on an entirely new continent. Doin' it!

detroit annie, hitchhiking.

her words pour out as if her throat were a broken artery
and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled.
you imagine her in a huge velvet hat with great
dangling black feathers,
but she shaves her head instead
and goes for three-day midnight walks.
sometimes she goes down to the dock and dances
off the end of it, simply to prove her belief

that people who
can-
not
walk on water are phonies
.... or dead.

when she is cruel, she is very, very
cool and when she is kind she is lavish...

fisherman think perhaps she's a fish,
but they're all fools.
she figured out that the only way
to keep from being frozen was to
stay in motion, and long ago converted
most of her flesh into liquid.

now when she smells danger,
she spills herself all over,
like gasoline, and lights it.

she leaves the taste
of salt
and iron
under
your
tongue,
... but you don't mind.

the common woman is as common
as the reddest wine.

ceecs light

"he said ani, you've gotten tough
'cause my tone was curt
yeah, and when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
in this city
self-preservation
is a full time occupation
I'm determined
to survive on this shore
you know I don't
avert my eyes anymore

in a man's world
I am a woman by birth
and after nineteen times around I have found
they will stop at nothing
once they know what you are worth
talk to me now...

I played the powerless
in too many dark scenes
and I was blessed with a birth and a death
and I guess I just want some say in between
don't you understand
in the day to day
and the face to face
I have to act
just as strong as I can
just to preserve a place
where I can be who I am
so if you still know how
talk to me now"

I was walking home from class and this song came on my iPod. Although it's pretty cold and the wind is ruthless, I can feel Candice's warmth in this beautiful sunshine. I like to think that the sun is simply her laugh and smile alone. =) This will forever be her song.

25 things i hate about facebook

I remember when I was younger and everyone was still down with postage stamps girls from my circle of friends and my Brownie troop would send out those "chain letters" and you had to send it to ten people and blah blah blah. I remember it being fun and exciting and I usually participated in them. Then once the age of the Internet arrived, we got AOL at my house and my friends would send me those e-chain letters that'd say, "ScRoLL aNd MaKe a WiSh!!!" I fucking loved that stuff. I always wished to marry JC Chasez from *NSYNC... kinda glad that didn't come true.

But even so back in those days it was a luxury to go online for at most an hour, go on AIM, talk to my friends for a little bit, and then sign off with a way-cool "g2g" because my mom needed to use the telephone (oh, dial-up). Now I feel like people (including myself) use the internet as the main source of communication. It's always struck me as funny when peoples profiles on Facebook are as lengthy as they are; I came across some girl from my hometown with I think two paragraphs from each section. Why is there this constant need to tell people all these things about yourself?

A few weeks ago one of those little chain letters made many a news article. It was the most passed around chain letter or "Facebook note" in history. I think something like 5 million people participated in this thing. I am so confused as to why on a social networking site where I can read your activities, interests, favorite movies, books, music, quotes AND read your little "about me" section, there is a reason you are writing 25 things about yourself.

I don't give a shit if you prefer your bagels with locks sans cream cheese or if your favorite show is The Hills.

That shit is pointless. What is your passion? Why is your favorite book your favorite book? What's the coolest thing that has ever happened to you, besides like, you getting a free tanning package? Self consumption, mass consumption, I don't care for it.