Fred "Mister" Rogers : Inhabiting a make-believe world with children well into his 70s and employing a character named Mr. McFeely to accompany him, one might be tempted to suggest pedophilic undertones in Fred "Mister" Rogers oeuvre. After all, normal heterosexual adult men don't want to have anything to do with kids, and when you start throwing hand puppets into the mix, it seems like something from the McMartin preschool case. But I'll take the high road. Fred Roger's chief crime is that it was always a beautiful day in the neighborhood and he liked you just the way you are.
Susan Sontag: "The white race is hte cancer of human history," wrote the ostensibly white Ms. Sontag. A hypocritical rad-chic darling who derided capitalism while gorging on huge foundation grants, she thought Against Interpretation was a catchy book title. Lost in metaphors, she spouted nonsense such as, "If there were no speaking or writing, there would be no truth about anything." Wrong--truth exsisted long before postmodern writers came along. And if you'd never likened white Americans to cancer, you still would have been a white American who died from cancer.
Timothy Leary: The Weather Underground facilitated Leary's escape from prison after a weed bust in the early 1970s. Upon his recapture, Leary spun around and ratted on his accomplices in order to receive a reduced sentence. "I would prefer to work constructively and collaboratively with intelligence and law enforcement people who are willing to forget the past," came the frightened-into-complicity statement of hte snowy-haired Brain Yeti who encouraged us to "question authority." The fact that he turned snitch on people who tried to help him forces me to question his authority to tell anyone to question authority.
Bob Marley: Though he sang of impoverishment and repatriation to Mama Africa, Bob Marley's father was a relatively affluent pasty-white plantation overseer and Navy officer. And though several reggae artists released music far superior to anything Marley ever squeezed from his dreads, he has achieved mythic status mainly due to his belief in Rastafarianism, one of the stupidest religions ever concocted. When skin cancer was discovered on his big toe, he declined life-saving amputation because his religion "don't allow a mon ta be dismantled." The cancer quickly spread to his brain, stomach, and lungs. Haile Selassie? Highly retarded.
Jack Kerouac: His unbearably effusive "masterpiece" On the Road is the literary equivalent of the liquor-induced internal hemorrage that cut him down at age 47---a sloppy cranial menstrual cycle in sever need of an editorial tampon. The main character's name is Sal Paradise--how stupid is that? Written while "on the speed," On the Road may have inspired countless "stream-of-consciousness" imitations, but the "stream" was a rank piss of a hopeless alcoholic, and hte "consciousness" was that of a homophobic cock-sucker who went on collegiate gay-bashing jaunts with jock friends before bedding dozens of men.
Iron Eyes Cody: Cody gained his fame as the "crying indian" in the 1970s "Keep America Beautiful" campaign. In the most watched public service announcement in United States history, people watched a teardrop snake down his craggy, presumably Native American visage after motorists chucked a bag of garbage near his feet. But although he claimed to be Cherokee, offered supplications to the "Great Spirit," and was America's Token Indian for decades, he was an Italian poseur born "Espera DeCorti." His TV teardrop wasn't even real--it was a lil squib of glycerine. Cody was to Native Americans what wiggers have become to blacks--patronizing, insulting attempts to vampirize someone's culture without having endured any of the attendant suffering.
It is 7:46 in the AM and I just spent the past 4-5 hours listening to motown and completely rearranging my room. I have no idea why. I still cannot sleep.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
imitation is the best form of flattery
So as most of you reading this know, I not only have a strange memory, but I also don’t really have a life. I’m joking about that, but seriously. There are many similarities in songs, for instance the riff in the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s song “Maps” is comparable if not exactly the same as the drum solo halfway through Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone”. Also, another obvious one would be that “I Wear My Sunglasses At Night” vs. that little bitch Miley Cyrus’ “See You Again” (which I will admit, I kind of enjoy).
Aside from all Nickleback songs, there are a few that kind of struck me. I’m sure I’m not the first person to do something like this, but I'm pretty fucking bored.
First we will start off with The Andrews Sisters "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" vs. Christina Aguilera's "Candy Man". I really do enjoy Christina's newest album. It it very oldschool, her voice is incredible and I've been listening to it quite a bit lately. Her song "Candy Man", which I believe is on the second disc, is one that I typically skip over. The other day I decided to keep it on, and I realized that it sounds almost identical to that of the Sisters' song. Both of the songs are about a particular man who is known for a certain something; "Bugle Boy" is suprisingly about a guy who plays the bugle well, whereas Christina's song is about a man infamous for being great in bed. Both of the songs have a brass introduction to the vocals and once the vocals begin they sound quite similar. Hmm.
Cat Steven’s “Father and Son” vs. The Flaming Lips’ “Fight Test”… these two songs are exactly the same and that’s all I really need to say. If you have heard these I’m sure you will agree. The Flaming Lips' song is obviously more synthed out, but the guitar and vocal arrangement are basically like listening to the same thing. Cat Steven's version is slower, almost ballad-like and "Fight Test" is definitely more upbeat whilst talking about conquering some kind of enemy. At least that's what I took from it. Kudos, Cat Stevens.
“What I Got” by Sublime vs. “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles. These two songs are pretty much arranged the same. Fuck, Sublime even got the title of their song from reggae artist Half Pint's song, "Loving", which, oddly enough, goes: "Loving is what I got, remember that". Very original.
“Factory Girl” by The Rolling Stones vs. “Whip the Blankets” by Neko Case. Hands down.
Green Day’s “Waiting” vs. Petula Clark’s “Downtown”. Ok, so anyone who is anyone knows that Green Day fucking sucks. There is no doubt that they are talent-less musicians who have made bank by recreating the same song over and over again. When they aren’t plagiarizing, their guitar riffs are the same three chords rearranged differently. This comparison is really an atrocity. Not only does Green Day copy the exact same chorus arrangement, but they even use the word “downtown”. All I have to say is go to youtube.com and type in those song titles separately and compare for yourself. I fucking hate Green Day. Erroneous, but one of my favorite parts in Girl, Interrupted is when Winona Ryder plays Clark's song with Angelina Jolie accompanying her on the tambourines. I fucking hate Angelina Jolie, however.
One that I recently discovered for myself was Gwen Stefani’s “What You Waiting For?” and Weezer’s wonderful “Hash Pipe”. Not exactly the same by any means, but definitely comparable.
Anybody who loves legendary (in my opinion) oldies, an obvious similarity would be Chuck Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen” and The Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ USA”. That’s completely obvious and I’m not even going to argue why.
I could also compare some other of Chuck Berry’s songs to other Chuck Berry songs considering they all kind of sound similar. For instance: “Little Queenie” vs. “Johnny B. Goode” vs. “Carole”
“School Days” vs. “No Particular Place to Go”
“Maybelline” vs. “Nadine” (“Nadine” is slightly less paced than “Maybelline”)
I actually cannot stand Michael Buble, but his one song,“Save the Last Dance For Me”, actually has not gotten on my nerves too much. I'm not sure if that says anything because I've only heard maybe three or four songs of his, but....this song sounds quite like “Hey Jude” by The Beatles. My favorite part of this comparison, is that Buble says some stupid shit like “Don’t forget…” in the same exact tone as the Beatles' version, whereas, The Beatles say “Remember…” which I’m pretty sure is basically like saying the same thing. Pretty original, Buble.
I was watching Coyote Ugly the other day because they have been playing it about 5,000 times a week on E!, and I realized that the shitty song by LeAnn Rimes “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” chorus sounds just like Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”. I then also realized that the background music of the chorus sounds just like “I Will Be There” by Britney Spears. While I’m sure barely anyone has even heard the song, being the Britney Spears connoisseur that I am, I noticed this immediately. It’s a pretty decent song, but I wouldn't imagine there being a huge lawsuit for any of these songs being copied.
As far as I’m concerned the Chili Peppers’ “Dani California” is a faster and funkier “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” by Petty. Although not exactly the same, up until the lead ins to the chorus the way the music is arranged sounds quite similar to me. Both songs also refer to these women from small town areas who seem to be slightly sad or something along those lines. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that “Dani”, who is mentioned in a few other Chili Pepper songs, was a representation of every girl Keidis has ever been with. Whatever, although both are quite catchy songs, they aren’t exactly on my top ten list of good songs.
“Warning” by Green Day vs. “Picture Book” by The Kinks. You know, the little ditty from the HP commercials? It sounds exactly like the shitty song by Green Day. I used to love Green Day when I was like nine or ten. They are incredibly easy chords to play, which doesn’t surprise me that Green Day copied the exact same melody but just added some piece of shit lyrics and pseudo-punk vocals.
“Get Off My Cloud” by The Rolling Stones vs. “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. Although the usual comparison is that song called “Boyfriend” by the Rubinoos, which is completely more like “Girlfriend” than the Stones’ song, but you gotta admit with the “Hey, hey, you, you” chorus I couldn't pass it up.
Avril Lavigne, in all her nonconforming glory, seems to have this copying trend down pat. I also used to really like Avril Lavigne (unfortunately) and her song “I Don’t Have to Try” sounds painfully similar to Peaches’ “I’m The Kinda”. Peaches is fucking insane and to tell you the truth I don’t particularly like her weird electro shit. Her song states “I’m the kinda bitch that you wanna get with…” and like all her other songs, is very redundant. All that I got from Lavigne’s song besides bleeding ears is that she "wears the pants in the relationship". She reminds me of a girl I went to high school with.
“All Day and Night” by The Kinks vs. “Hello, I Love You” by the Doors. I think The Kinks are underrated. “Hello, I Love You” clearly sounds almost exactly like their version. Not that big of a deal, neither one of them are particularly great songs.
“Ain’t Nobody’s Business” by Taj Mahal vs. “Sunshine” by G. Love and Special Sauce. These two don’t sound exactly similar, but I think there is definitely a relation. Maybe more fraternal than identical, but nevertheless……
“Orion” by Metallica vs. “Only Shallow” by My Bloody Valentine. Maybe I’m crazy, which is definitely a possibility, but I think these two have slight resemblances to one another.
I wish I was a DJ so I could make mashups of some of these songs.
Aside from all Nickleback songs, there are a few that kind of struck me. I’m sure I’m not the first person to do something like this, but I'm pretty fucking bored.
First we will start off with The Andrews Sisters "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" vs. Christina Aguilera's "Candy Man". I really do enjoy Christina's newest album. It it very oldschool, her voice is incredible and I've been listening to it quite a bit lately. Her song "Candy Man", which I believe is on the second disc, is one that I typically skip over. The other day I decided to keep it on, and I realized that it sounds almost identical to that of the Sisters' song. Both of the songs are about a particular man who is known for a certain something; "Bugle Boy" is suprisingly about a guy who plays the bugle well, whereas Christina's song is about a man infamous for being great in bed. Both of the songs have a brass introduction to the vocals and once the vocals begin they sound quite similar. Hmm.
Cat Steven’s “Father and Son” vs. The Flaming Lips’ “Fight Test”… these two songs are exactly the same and that’s all I really need to say. If you have heard these I’m sure you will agree. The Flaming Lips' song is obviously more synthed out, but the guitar and vocal arrangement are basically like listening to the same thing. Cat Steven's version is slower, almost ballad-like and "Fight Test" is definitely more upbeat whilst talking about conquering some kind of enemy. At least that's what I took from it. Kudos, Cat Stevens.
“What I Got” by Sublime vs. “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles. These two songs are pretty much arranged the same. Fuck, Sublime even got the title of their song from reggae artist Half Pint's song, "Loving", which, oddly enough, goes: "Loving is what I got, remember that". Very original.
“Factory Girl” by The Rolling Stones vs. “Whip the Blankets” by Neko Case. Hands down.
Green Day’s “Waiting” vs. Petula Clark’s “Downtown”. Ok, so anyone who is anyone knows that Green Day fucking sucks. There is no doubt that they are talent-less musicians who have made bank by recreating the same song over and over again. When they aren’t plagiarizing, their guitar riffs are the same three chords rearranged differently. This comparison is really an atrocity. Not only does Green Day copy the exact same chorus arrangement, but they even use the word “downtown”. All I have to say is go to youtube.com and type in those song titles separately and compare for yourself. I fucking hate Green Day. Erroneous, but one of my favorite parts in Girl, Interrupted is when Winona Ryder plays Clark's song with Angelina Jolie accompanying her on the tambourines. I fucking hate Angelina Jolie, however.
One that I recently discovered for myself was Gwen Stefani’s “What You Waiting For?” and Weezer’s wonderful “Hash Pipe”. Not exactly the same by any means, but definitely comparable.
Anybody who loves legendary (in my opinion) oldies, an obvious similarity would be Chuck Berry’s “Sweet Little Sixteen” and The Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ USA”. That’s completely obvious and I’m not even going to argue why.
I could also compare some other of Chuck Berry’s songs to other Chuck Berry songs considering they all kind of sound similar. For instance: “Little Queenie” vs. “Johnny B. Goode” vs. “Carole”
“School Days” vs. “No Particular Place to Go”
“Maybelline” vs. “Nadine” (“Nadine” is slightly less paced than “Maybelline”)
I actually cannot stand Michael Buble, but his one song,“Save the Last Dance For Me”, actually has not gotten on my nerves too much. I'm not sure if that says anything because I've only heard maybe three or four songs of his, but....this song sounds quite like “Hey Jude” by The Beatles. My favorite part of this comparison, is that Buble says some stupid shit like “Don’t forget…” in the same exact tone as the Beatles' version, whereas, The Beatles say “Remember…” which I’m pretty sure is basically like saying the same thing. Pretty original, Buble.
I was watching Coyote Ugly the other day because they have been playing it about 5,000 times a week on E!, and I realized that the shitty song by LeAnn Rimes “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” chorus sounds just like Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”. I then also realized that the background music of the chorus sounds just like “I Will Be There” by Britney Spears. While I’m sure barely anyone has even heard the song, being the Britney Spears connoisseur that I am, I noticed this immediately. It’s a pretty decent song, but I wouldn't imagine there being a huge lawsuit for any of these songs being copied.
As far as I’m concerned the Chili Peppers’ “Dani California” is a faster and funkier “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” by Petty. Although not exactly the same, up until the lead ins to the chorus the way the music is arranged sounds quite similar to me. Both songs also refer to these women from small town areas who seem to be slightly sad or something along those lines. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that “Dani”, who is mentioned in a few other Chili Pepper songs, was a representation of every girl Keidis has ever been with. Whatever, although both are quite catchy songs, they aren’t exactly on my top ten list of good songs.
“Warning” by Green Day vs. “Picture Book” by The Kinks. You know, the little ditty from the HP commercials? It sounds exactly like the shitty song by Green Day. I used to love Green Day when I was like nine or ten. They are incredibly easy chords to play, which doesn’t surprise me that Green Day copied the exact same melody but just added some piece of shit lyrics and pseudo-punk vocals.
“Get Off My Cloud” by The Rolling Stones vs. “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. Although the usual comparison is that song called “Boyfriend” by the Rubinoos, which is completely more like “Girlfriend” than the Stones’ song, but you gotta admit with the “Hey, hey, you, you” chorus I couldn't pass it up.
Avril Lavigne, in all her nonconforming glory, seems to have this copying trend down pat. I also used to really like Avril Lavigne (unfortunately) and her song “I Don’t Have to Try” sounds painfully similar to Peaches’ “I’m The Kinda”. Peaches is fucking insane and to tell you the truth I don’t particularly like her weird electro shit. Her song states “I’m the kinda bitch that you wanna get with…” and like all her other songs, is very redundant. All that I got from Lavigne’s song besides bleeding ears is that she "wears the pants in the relationship". She reminds me of a girl I went to high school with.
“All Day and Night” by The Kinks vs. “Hello, I Love You” by the Doors. I think The Kinks are underrated. “Hello, I Love You” clearly sounds almost exactly like their version. Not that big of a deal, neither one of them are particularly great songs.
“Ain’t Nobody’s Business” by Taj Mahal vs. “Sunshine” by G. Love and Special Sauce. These two don’t sound exactly similar, but I think there is definitely a relation. Maybe more fraternal than identical, but nevertheless……
“Orion” by Metallica vs. “Only Shallow” by My Bloody Valentine. Maybe I’m crazy, which is definitely a possibility, but I think these two have slight resemblances to one another.
I wish I was a DJ so I could make mashups of some of these songs.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
dina lohan may or may not resemble a man
while i didnt think that the new E! reality series of desperation, "living lohan", could get any worse--i have been proven wrong. the tv show's pilot showed dina lohan referring to everyone besides her family as "idiots" and, while that may sound boring, i for some reason get excited when i see a preview for the next episode.
the second episode showed even more dina rants, but the house also caught on fire. it was fucking awesome. ali lohan (lindsay's fifteen-year-old sister who appears to look about 28) also revealed that she, like her older sister, has asthma. i'm sure this will come in handy in the future when she decides/realizes that it's a good cop out for not wanting to do something. like filming a movie.
denise richards: it's complicated is also another horrendous yet entertaining show on the E! network. in her pilot episode, all she does is complain about everyone else in her past, present and future life besides her dad and her two charlie sheen look-alike (sucks) daughters. she attempts to breed her pigs, and ends up purchasing another cuter and smaller pig. i hope it impregnates her huge, female pig. i'm anxious to see what that would look like.
my favorite episode, however, was when she was preparing to go on a blind date with someone that her friend set her up with. maybe i'm abnormal, but it takes me about an hour TOPS, maybe like an hour and fifteen minutes if i decide to change what i have on, to get ready to go out with someone. denise started getting ready at like 3:00 P.M., starting off with a candle lit bubble bath. she then hired a young girl to come over to her house and give her a fucking spray tan. really? are you that concerned and pathetic that in order to go out and have a few drinks with someone you need to have a spray tan done?
she then goes on a tangent about how she hopes that she can someday date a normal guy, one who doesn't think that she is "just the bond girl" or "just the girl from Wild Things". i'm sorry denise, but i didnt know that you were in any other movies in your short lived career. i'm pretty sure that you could easily date any "normal" man. it's called move out of los angeles.
anyways, i really don't like television, and yes that contradicts all the above, but i will admit that i have been allowing myself to watch this mindless bullshit because in some weird way it is relaxing. we all know that the only good show on the E! network is Chelsea Lately anyways.
the second episode showed even more dina rants, but the house also caught on fire. it was fucking awesome. ali lohan (lindsay's fifteen-year-old sister who appears to look about 28) also revealed that she, like her older sister, has asthma. i'm sure this will come in handy in the future when she decides/realizes that it's a good cop out for not wanting to do something. like filming a movie.
denise richards: it's complicated is also another horrendous yet entertaining show on the E! network. in her pilot episode, all she does is complain about everyone else in her past, present and future life besides her dad and her two charlie sheen look-alike (sucks) daughters. she attempts to breed her pigs, and ends up purchasing another cuter and smaller pig. i hope it impregnates her huge, female pig. i'm anxious to see what that would look like.
my favorite episode, however, was when she was preparing to go on a blind date with someone that her friend set her up with. maybe i'm abnormal, but it takes me about an hour TOPS, maybe like an hour and fifteen minutes if i decide to change what i have on, to get ready to go out with someone. denise started getting ready at like 3:00 P.M., starting off with a candle lit bubble bath. she then hired a young girl to come over to her house and give her a fucking spray tan. really? are you that concerned and pathetic that in order to go out and have a few drinks with someone you need to have a spray tan done?
she then goes on a tangent about how she hopes that she can someday date a normal guy, one who doesn't think that she is "just the bond girl" or "just the girl from Wild Things". i'm sorry denise, but i didnt know that you were in any other movies in your short lived career. i'm pretty sure that you could easily date any "normal" man. it's called move out of los angeles.
anyways, i really don't like television, and yes that contradicts all the above, but i will admit that i have been allowing myself to watch this mindless bullshit because in some weird way it is relaxing. we all know that the only good show on the E! network is Chelsea Lately anyways.
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