Wednesday, December 3, 2008

beautiful words

blossom
kangaroo
chimes
delicate
mother
peace
epiphany
myrrh (maybe cause i like saying "merrrr" a lot)
inspissate
marigold
laughter
peek-a-boo
melody
twinkle
plethora (so good)
quintessential
whisper
meander
lovely
porcelain
obsequious
sycamore
aestivate
sunshine
elysium
cozy
champagne
malignant
fragile
destiny
freedom
serendipity
butterfly
renaissance
persnickety (my favorite word ever)

i will probably think of more

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

fuck off wikipedia

So I was writing a piece talking about how the Internet as a news outlet is becoming less and less legit. Online news blogs, wikipedia, all that good stuff. I decided to make a Wikipedia to see how long it stayed up to prove just how legitimate the site really is. This was what it said:

The cutest and coolest girl not only on the North American continent, but Earth as a whole. Born on August 31, 1988, Laura graced the entire planet with her grace, intelligence and all around liveliness. She is a plethora of knowledge, and has written stories ranging from airline travel during the holiday seasons, reality television to her most recent, a fabrication of a peyote trip that took place in Omaha, Nebraska. Laura is currently dabbling in free lance writing while studying journalism at Columbia College Chicago.

In my opinion, I didn't say anything that was false, I don't need to worry about any copyright or sources (maybe where it says "coolest girl" cause I'm sure some may disagree) so what's the issue? I originally had it as the first two lines just for shits and giggles; I realized I would have to have some sort of seriousness thrown in there, which is why I added the bit about where I am attending school and shit like that. Maybe the fact that I mentioned my peyote story I'm working on, but even so Wikipedia isn't even accepted in any form of academic sourcing so if they aren't technically legit, why can't they allow me to have my own outlet via their website? Pretty much what Wikipedia just did could be described as the ultimate rejection. I'll be back in a few years, just give me some time.

how to tell if you're sitting behind an asshole on an airplane

I found this in my files as I was deleting things. I think this was meant to be posted.

I’m sitting in LAX waiting for my connecting flight to get back to Chicago. As I was sitting here staring at the guy from Varsity Blues who is on my flight for whatever reason (why couldn’t it have been Shia LeBouf?), I got to thinking about my flight from Maui to Los Angeles. I’m a pretty easy-going person for the most part, but there are certain things you just don’t do. Some of these things may vary, as I’m sure not everyone agrees on some things that I find dreadful and bad mannered. However, fucking ask me if you can recline your seat all the way back on a six hour flight, dickbag.

I’m sure mostly everyone I know has been on an airplane at least once in his or her lives. Given that simple knowledge, think back to how uncomfortable airplanes usually are (unless you’re riding first class, but even so the chairs are just softer and wider). Now imagine this:

--- You’re on a five and a half hour redeye flight over the Pacific Ocean, and you’re watching season 2 of Weeds on your laptop. You begin to doze off since it is like 1 AM or something like that and you’re enjoying a nice little snooze. All of a sudden your laptop falls to your lap, the plastic tray in front of you forces itself into your thigh, and part of the water that you had been drinking spills all over your lap and just barely misses your laptop. On top of all of that, you’ve just been woken up. In your sleepy haze you try to understand what just happened; it takes you a minute but you realize the asshole sitting in front of you decided to fully recline without talking it over with you first.

Now I’m not sure if anyone is as much of a bitch as I am when I have been woken up, but naturally I was fucking pissed. What was this guy thinking? Aside from him, the lady next to me was sprawled out, arm crossing over the line which can be recognized as the arm rest. Fed up, I packed my laptop back up, placed the cup in the pocket of the seat, and proceeded to do what any noble lady would do: I kicked my feet up and pushed with all my might.

After a minute or so of struggles, my short but forceful legs finally got him to an upright position where I was comfortable enough to remain where I was. In the meantime, a movie had started on the television screen. I hadn’t ever heard of it, but it was nearly impossible for me to continue watching Weeds as I had been prior to this catastrophe. Removing my headphones from my iPod to place them in the outlet on my arm rest (which was yet another feat since the ladys arm was still pretty much conquering it) so I could hear the film, he begins to squirm. He starts rocking back and forth, almost forcing me to give in. My knees felt like they were going to buckle several times but I refused to let him take over the minimal space I had. I looked around to see if maybe I was just being a bitch, but nobody else on the fully packed airplane seemed to be as reclined as he was.

I resumed my focus to the film, which was quite good in fact, despite the many interruptions, due to this guy not being able to recline. There was one point where he literally turned around, stood up, and sat down forcefully. I pretended to sleep this entire time all the while using all my strength to make sure his chair was upright. I think the term for my actions is called “passive aggression”. I think the term for his actions is “rude”, so it evens out. Bottom line, if you want to invade someone’s personal space, maybe ask them if it’s okay with them first. It usually won’t be.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

caution moving walkway is nearing its end

I think that a true test of how much patience one actually does have is to travel in airports during the holidays.

Take Me As I Am - Wyclef
What A Wonderful World - Katie Melua & Eva Cassidy
My Lover Will Go - Ane Brun
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne
Make Me Stay - Ani DiFranco
Preparedness - The Bird and The Bee
Life In The Rain - Quantic
Gonna Have A Funky Good Time - James Brown
Nematode - Lotus
When I Go - Brett Dennen
The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
Ocean - John Butler Trio (one of the most amazing guitar solos I've ever heard)
Mr. Big Stuff - Jean Knight
Lost Woman Song - Ani DiFranco
Pick Yer Nose - Ani DiFranco
Paper Thin Walls - Modest Mouse
California Soul - Marlena Shaw
Til It Happens To You - Corrinne Bailey Rae (obsessed with this song)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

joanna newsom

So I'm sure anyone who knows me knows that Joanna Newsom is probably the only female vocalist that I would ever refuse to listen to unless it was a rare moment or at least very sparingly. I got bored with whatever I was listening to earlier, and I put on some Joanna. Now, she still annoys the hell out of me 90% of the time, but I actually took the time to listen to every song I had because I was just writing a paper, and believe it or not I kind of like some songs. I have decided to compile a list of the songs that annoy me though, because ranting is much more fun.

SONGS THAT ANNOY ME:

1. Sadie.
--- Within the first three seconds of this song she hits some weird ass note and it just sounds somewhat painful. If she removed the "SAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIEEEEE", "BLLEEEEEEESSSSSSS YOU", "REEEEESOLUTE", "QUAAAAAARTER", "DOOOO! LOSE", etc. parts of this song, I would quite frankly enjoy it. I think it's funny when she says tellerphone.

2. Three Little Babes
--- Her voice is exceptionally annoying in this song. I like how the song goes; it reminds me of Native Americans for some reason which is cool. She is just way too fucking shrill. Norah Jones should do a cover and it'd probably be beautiful. Maybe just cause I'm obsessed with Norah, but I think it'd be a good idea. Norah, if you're reading this, get on it when you're done cutting all your hair off and testing out the indie waters.

3. Peach, Plum, Pear
--- The background music reminds me of something that would be played during a segment of some kind during the mid 80's. She kind of sounds like that one old lady from Now and Then that gives the psychic reading and does voices for the documentaries about haunted places on the History Channel... only singing. I could see this song growing on me and me playing it, resulting in everyone around me resenting me for it.

4. Erin
--- The harp is absolutely breathtaking in this song. And then she sings. I think it's songs of hers that contain a female name are just bound to be shrill. It's in the middle of tolerable and annoying, mostly because I like this particular album of hers. If she wasn't singing the harp would be so peaceful to listen to on a sunny day.

5. What We Have Known
--- "WE KNOW NOT NOW WHAT WE HAVE KNOWN." I think that's all I need to say about this song. The harp is once again beautiful, however.

6. Sprout and Bean
--- This song is tolerable until she starts repeating herself about 3/4 through the song. There's a harp solo towards the end though which is pretty bad ass. "Harp solo" sounds funny.

7. Cassiopeia
--- This song makes me think I'm listening to a deaf five year old child pick at random strings and make up places like "Mt. Sleepy." The lyrics are kind of trippy, and she's singing things like "go to sleep, sky" or something, which then makes me think that she's referring to the constellation Cassiopeia. It also makes me think "who the fuck could ever sleep while this chick sings?" Now Norah Jones on the other hand...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

wherever you are i swear you'll be my angel

It's hard to believe that it has been one year. While I will never fully understand why someone like her had to be taken away, I know that she will always be here. The sun was shining so bright yesterday and the breeze was perfect; it was sunny east coast, central, and west coast today and I'm sure it's because she is letting everyone know it's all good. I came across a quote in one of my readings today, and it said, "A man is not dead if he is still talked about." I liked that a lot. I know many, many people talk about, think about and remember her on a daily, hourly, even minute by minute basis. She is alive on Earth through the words and memories and always will. I'm sure she's wherever she is doing some pretty fucking cool shit while at the same time hanging out, watching over everyone. I Love you Ceec!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEh2iijehHM&feature=PlayList&p=61300A2D3167BBF0&index=0

Monday, November 17, 2008

guido men

In case I ever forget these incident(s), I want it in writing that I witnessed a MAN complain about him getting rained on. And I quote, "Ah fuck, I'm getting rained on. 'Scuse me girls." Gay? No. I'd understand. Guido? Yes. Unacceptable but totally predictable. Sorry, let me get out of the way so your new haircut doesn't get rained on, guy. People wonder why I prefer live music dive bars...

I then went inside and sat back down with the guys who we'd made friends with (they had bottle service..) I was innocently talking to some guy, I couldn't even tell you what the conversation was about, and these girl next to us who also had bottle service at her table leans over towards me.

"If one more guy comes up to you that I don't like, I'm going to tell him you're my girlfriend"
--I nervously let out a laugh... all that was going through my mind was "What the fuck?"
She's like, "I may have to get you more drunk so I can actually get some action from you later"
Disgusted, I tell her I have a boyfriend. She seemed a little upset, and kept asking me how long we'd been together, and what his name was, blah blah blah. I just went along with it although I really didn't find it necessary for her to be asking me these questions. I sincerely hope that was the first and last time I will ever have to steer a chick away from me because quite frankly, it freaked me out.

Meggie and I then went and got a burrito after her set, and proceeded to put on a concert in a parking garage to songs from the late 90's. I love NSYNC. I miss being like 11 and having JC Chasez and Travis Barker all over my walls thinking that one day I would marry them. Yes, both of them. I'll take Travis, but JC now not so much...

hug life

god bless our dead marines - a silver mt. zion
caribou lou - tech n9ne
la belle et le bad boy - mc solaar (thanks sex and the city)
boom boom - will dailey
great dj - the ting tings (growing on me?)
it's amazing - jem
letter to a john - ani difranco
beauty flies - lykke li vs. gui boratto (hood internet)
time flies - lykke li (i've fallen asleep during this song for the past week or so)
9 crimes - damien rice
trouble is a friend - lenka
life in the rain - quantic
pushin on - the herbaliser (these people may be my new favorites, and they are coming tuesday... yippie)
viva la vida - coldplay (whatever)
my president - young jeezy
dead and gone - t.i./justin timberlake
good girl gone bad - rihanna
you're all i need - method man =D
jolene - ray lamontagne
lover - devendra banhart
fields of gold - eva cassidy
when i go - brett dennen
imaginary places - busdriver
small town apology - team9 vs. stereogum (this song sounds like drugs; i just like the lyrics to that apologize song by one republic)

--------------------------

let's kill first the banker
with his professional demeanour
let's televise and broadcast
the raping of kings
let our crowds be fed on
tear gas and plate-glass
cause a people united
is a wonderful thing
i know that you're dying
and i know i'm unwell
and together we sashay
through variations of hell

and as you walk through valleys of fear
the lure of my bed is ever near
oh, don't be afraid, though the parade
will not pass our way
it's nobler to never get paid
than to bank on shit and dismay

Monday, November 10, 2008

manic monday

8 something AM: Some man stops his car to tell me on my way to class how good I look in my skirt. This freaks me out and is quite frankly annoying considering I had just woken up. I continue to walk as he continues to yell at me.

Noon: I try to print my papers for my writing for satire class. Printer doesn't work.

Ten minutes later: Attempt to print in the computer lab (what a good discovery I hadn't known you could print there, so that's good). Oasis is down (duh) and therefore I cannot print my shit.

3 something PM: I am approached by one of those fucking hair people on the street. He asks me if I like deep tissue massages and continues to pester me as I try to smoke my cigarette in peace. He continues to talk and I just keep laughing. He eventually gives up and walks away.

Three or so minutes later: I notice some kid staring at me. He walks up to me and insists that I give him my number. Although he's pretty fucking hot, he's far too persistent and annoying.

Two seconds after he walks away I am about to walk into my building, and I hear some girl say "excuse me!" I look over, I see she has a cigarette in her hand, but no lighter. I assume she wants to use my lighter.

Girl: Aren't you cold?
Me: No....?
Girl: I'm freezing
Me: I'm sorry

I get to the floor my class is on, and I run into Kiersten, Chris that I had class with last year, Alex Small, Ian and Troy. Fun little reunion considering I had no idea any of them were in that building at that time. I tell Kiersten the stories that just occurred in the past five minutes.

What a pointless conversation? I then walked into class which was basically kind of pointless as we talked about drunken times as opposed to anything of substance whatsoever. I leave class and this Chris character basically follows me halfway home. I now have to go to the Apple store seeing as how I spilled lime juice on it last night.

I now know what that 80's band meant when they sang their acclaimed masterpiece "Manic Monday"

Friday, November 7, 2008

brown eyes

if the elephants have past lives
yet are destined to always remember
it's no wonder how they scream
like you and i, they must have some temper
and i am dreaming of them on the plains,
dirtying up their beds,
watching for some kind of rain to cool their hot heads
and how dare that you send me that card
when I'm doing all that i can do...
you are forcing me to remember
when all I want is to just forget you
if the tiger shall protect her young, then tell me how did you slip by?
all my instincts have failed me for once --
i must have somehow slept the whole night

and i am dreaming of them with their kill, tearing it all apart,
blood dripping from their lips, and teeth sinking into heart....
and how dare that you say you will call,
when you know i need some peace of mind..
if you had to take sides with the animals,
won't you do it with one who is kind?

if the hawks in the trees need the dead,
if you're living you don't stand a chance
you can lie there and say you are fed,
but there are only two ends to this dance
you can flee with your wounds just in time,
or lie there as he feeds,
watching yourself ripped to shreds
and laughing as you bleed

so for those of you falling in love:
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger,
but keep one eye open at night...

obamanon

I still can't really get over the fact that i was a part of the Grant Park insanity the other night. To be in this country at such a time as this is so amazing, but it's hard for me to understand that I was RIGHT THERE. It was crazy that no one was really chanting "Obama", but rather "U-S-A!" over and over; it's almost as if we finally were proud to be Americans again. I can't stop listening to "My President" by Young Jeezy... I love it. I just can't believe it. I've noticed a change in the way people treat one another lately as well. I don't know. I'm just fucking really happy.

Monday, November 3, 2008

uh

since i don't really write anything with substance in this thing:

100 year flood - string cheese incident
1976 - RJD2
bird brain - fiery furnaces
summer wine - nancy sinatra
long way home - norah jones
fresh rhythm - quantic soul orchestra
13 angels standing... - a silver mt. zion (this entire album will never get old to me)
everything'll be alright - joshua radin
star mile - joshua radin
root groove - wax poetic
the groove that just won't stop - time machine
duet (w/ ray lamontagne) - rachael yamagata
rough gem - islands
sister rosetta goes before us - alison kraus/r plant
hawaii - meiko (just reminds me of being there ohhhh about a month ago. fuck)
THE GREATEST - CAT POWER over and over and over
don't let me fall - lenka
soco amaretto lime - brand new (brings good memories)
i don't blame you - cat power
butterfly - mason jennings
spades - zox
east to the west - michael franti
the entire the hood internet vs. lykke li
rising up - the roots
someone great - lcd soundsystem
cherry blossom girl - air
accidental deth - rilo kiley
pool shark - sublime (via robbin the hood, however)
yer so bad - tom petty
world spins madly on - the weepies
sunshine - g. love
like a prayer - madonna
gold to me - ben harper
try - nelly furtado
our house - csny
the trapeze swinger - iron and wine
beautiful - snoop dogg, blah blah blah
dog faced boy - phish
the man comes around - johnny cash
had a dat - sublime

on every corner

death
has been your lover
he has brought you
the edges of your life
and now you are looking over
and all we can say is
it's gonna be all right
and I am looking forward
to looking back on these days

when on every corner
someone holds a sign
that says I'm homeless
I'm hungry and
I have AIDS


how will they define our generation
in the coming decades
who will tell the story
and what will they say?
will they say the victims
were thought of as criminals
while the guilty sat on high
deciding their fate
ticking off statistics in their spare time
tell me,
which is the crime?


may you never test positive
pregnancy
HIV
may you never be the receptacle of blame
may you never be the scapegoat
for a whole
world full of shame
may you never be fighting for your life
and at the same time
have to fight for your name

there are too few who open both eyes
we sit back in our easy chairs
and we try to sympathize
whether from the point of a needle or
the edge of our beds
we too, like too many others,
could be dead
our actions
will define us
before a single definition can be said
yeah, so what if god is testing us
what if that's true
what are you going to do
what is the answer
to you?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

i ain't no groupie

So after the show last night, I'm smoking a cig near the tour buses and I yell at some guy. He comes over to us and starts talking. We realize it's some dude from The Roots.

"You wanna come to a party?"
-"Uh, sure..."
"All right, come on the bus"
-"What the fuck? Ok" (Pretty sure that was my reaction)

Get on the tour bus of The mother fucking Roots, and we are fucking chillin. They give us some beer and the one guy (no names shall be mentioned throughout this) is talking to me as if he'd already claimed me or something like that. I'm freaking out in the meantime inside, so I'm texting everyone I know who would give a shit at that point because I couldn't believe all of it was really happening. We get off the bus and go into some club that ?uestlove was DJing, I couldn't tell you what it was called, but it was packed. As we walk in, the dude turns around and he's like telling me that "I better tell my boyfriend that I'm gonna be cheating on him tonight" and that he "better get to have his way with me" and stupid shit like that. I am drunk and he is super talented, so it doesn't even phase me that he's being beyond creepy at this point. We go into their little section and they are posing for pictures and shit like that.

ANYWAYS,
We leave that club, and in the meantime some hoed out chick is following them and attempts to get into the cab with us. They're like "sorry, we don't have enough room," which was pretty sweet considering what had just been happening that past hour and a half at that point. We go to another club, didn't go in, but in the meantime another one of the guys got into an altercation with the cab driver about money and told the cab driver that "he makes what he makes in three minutes" and other ridiculous shit. This pisses me off and so I made a small comment about how it's not really that cool to speak to someone else like that, and he went on about how he grew up from nothing and still made it and so should that cab driver and blah blah blah ... boring. It was sort of funny to see someone of that status all fucked up and belligerent, however. It's like those pages in USWeekly---"Stars are just like us! They get drunk!"

After a few minutes of deliberation and the one dude constantly asking me if he could "talk to me", we decide to go to Sutton Place hotel in Gold Coast where they were staying. They get this huge bottle of wine, and they are pouring us glasses and assuming that we were staying the night. I'm talking to them having a good time, but the one guy would not fucking leave me alone. He kept telling me to come sit by him and like patting down on his lap to sit there all annoying-like, and I was just like "no, I'm cool." He doesn't like that, so he comes and sits uncomfortably close behind me, so much that I could like feel his dick on my back and starts reading my texts. He's asking me who these people are and why do I have to be texting and he just "wants to get to know me." We start discussing music and how long he's been doing what he does, what has influenced him, you know, good conversation. I mean he's a fucking Grammy nominated (by the time he entered the band) artist like five or six times over, so he obviously knows what he's talking about when it came to music. Despite that being sexy as hell, he then gets into how he "wants to take me to where he's from" (which would be fucking COOL cause its beautiful if he was even telling me the truth) and all this shit so obviously I'm not buying it.

He continues to move even closer to me and like rubbing me and shit so at this point I'm just annoyed and call Megan to either come up to where we are or pick us up. She comes to the hotel and picks us up. We leave and I'm pretty sure we pissed off numerous members of The Roots for drinking their alcohol and not sleeping with them. Ooops....

Friday, October 24, 2008

"finally someone texted me" - paul

1. brazillian girls - dance til the morning
2. leftover salmon - up on the hill (thank you yonder for playing this last weekend)
3. the doors - l'america
4. little yellow spider - devendra banhart
5. the strange design of conscience - the flaming lips
6. runaway jim - gordon stone trio (phish tribute)
7. water song- hot tuna
8. rough gem - islands
9. mr. big stuff - jean knight
10. take me home country roads - john denver
11. ocean - john butler trio
12. a case of you - joni mitchell
13. star mile - josh radin
14. perfect day - lou reed
15. leap year - maria taylor
16. mine eyes - moonshine still
17. buckets of rain - neko case
18. bang bang - niia
19. lonestar - norah jones
20. when i go - brett dennen
21. spoonful of sugar - of montreal
22. elevators (me & you) - outkast

and basically anything by new buffalo

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

fuck joe plumber

As if I wasn't already appalled by McCain to begin with, I managed to extract a "joke" from his 1986 race for US Senate, as quoted in the Tucson Citizen:

"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’ "

I for one find that joke hysterical. Nothin' like a good old rape joke...

I'm watching the third debate and I can't help but get completely FUCKING ANNOYED. As Obama notably sits there and waits for McCain to finish his inconsistent ramblings, McCain continues to interrupt and look away from the speaker as he is spoken to. I for one do not want this pint-sized turtle of a man to tell me what the fuck I can do with my body and mind while continuing to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. If my birth control won't be paid for by my insurance, I wonder if Viagra will be for all the incompetent men across the US?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

fuck you very much

It is 5:48 P.M

4:33 A.M.
5:39 A.M.
12:28 P.M.
2:38 P.M.
3:45 P.M.
4:35 P.M.

In the past twelve hours I have been getting these phone calls from this annoying mother fucker. Seriously I need to stop giving out my number when I'm out when I'm not going to remember what they look like/if I even gave him my number. Clearly he's desperate. At what point is it considered harassment. He's blond. Alcohol--->lapse of judgement for sure.

Mason Jennings is playing for free down the street in an hour. I love this city.