hug life

god bless our dead marines - a silver mt. zion
caribou lou - tech n9ne
la belle et le bad boy - mc solaar (thanks sex and the city)
boom boom - will dailey
great dj - the ting tings (growing on me?)
it's amazing - jem
letter to a john - ani difranco
beauty flies - lykke li vs. gui boratto (hood internet)
time flies - lykke li (i've fallen asleep during this song for the past week or so)
9 crimes - damien rice
trouble is a friend - lenka
life in the rain - quantic
pushin on - the herbaliser (these people may be my new favorites, and they are coming tuesday... yippie)
viva la vida - coldplay (whatever)
my president - young jeezy
dead and gone - t.i./justin timberlake
good girl gone bad - rihanna
you're all i need - method man =D
jolene - ray lamontagne
lover - devendra banhart
fields of gold - eva cassidy
when i go - brett dennen
imaginary places - busdriver
small town apology - team9 vs. stereogum (this song sounds like drugs; i just like the lyrics to that apologize song by one republic)

--------------------------

let's kill first the banker
with his professional demeanour
let's televise and broadcast
the raping of kings
let our crowds be fed on
tear gas and plate-glass
cause a people united
is a wonderful thing
i know that you're dying
and i know i'm unwell
and together we sashay
through variations of hell

and as you walk through valleys of fear
the lure of my bed is ever near
oh, don't be afraid, though the parade
will not pass our way
it's nobler to never get paid
than to bank on shit and dismay

manic monday

8 something AM: Some man stops his car to tell me on my way to class how good I look in my skirt. This freaks me out and is quite frankly annoying considering I had just woken up. I continue to walk as he continues to yell at me.

Noon: I try to print my papers for my writing for satire class. Printer doesn't work.

Ten minutes later: Attempt to print in the computer lab (what a good discovery I hadn't known you could print there, so that's good). Oasis is down (duh) and therefore I cannot print my shit.

3 something PM: I am approached by one of those fucking hair people on the street. He asks me if I like deep tissue massages and continues to pester me as I try to smoke my cigarette in peace. He continues to talk and I just keep laughing. He eventually gives up and walks away.

Three or so minutes later: I notice some kid staring at me. He walks up to me and insists that I give him my number. Although he's pretty fucking hot, he's far too persistent and annoying.

Two seconds after he walks away I am about to walk into my building, and I hear some girl say "excuse me!" I look over, I see she has a cigarette in her hand, but no lighter. I assume she wants to use my lighter.

Girl: Aren't you cold?
Me: No....?
Girl: I'm freezing
Me: I'm sorry

I get to the floor my class is on, and I run into Kiersten, Chris that I had class with last year, Alex Small, Ian and Troy. Fun little reunion considering I had no idea any of them were in that building at that time. I tell Kiersten the stories that just occurred in the past five minutes.

What a pointless conversation? I then walked into class which was basically kind of pointless as we talked about drunken times as opposed to anything of substance whatsoever. I leave class and this Chris character basically follows me halfway home. I now have to go to the Apple store seeing as how I spilled lime juice on it last night.

I now know what that 80's band meant when they sang their acclaimed masterpiece "Manic Monday"

brown eyes

if the elephants have past lives
yet are destined to always remember
it's no wonder how they scream
like you and i, they must have some temper
and i am dreaming of them on the plains,
dirtying up their beds,
watching for some kind of rain to cool their hot heads
and how dare that you send me that card
when I'm doing all that i can do...
you are forcing me to remember
when all I want is to just forget you
if the tiger shall protect her young, then tell me how did you slip by?
all my instincts have failed me for once --
i must have somehow slept the whole night

and i am dreaming of them with their kill, tearing it all apart,
blood dripping from their lips, and teeth sinking into heart....
and how dare that you say you will call,
when you know i need some peace of mind..
if you had to take sides with the animals,
won't you do it with one who is kind?

if the hawks in the trees need the dead,
if you're living you don't stand a chance
you can lie there and say you are fed,
but there are only two ends to this dance
you can flee with your wounds just in time,
or lie there as he feeds,
watching yourself ripped to shreds
and laughing as you bleed

so for those of you falling in love:
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger,
but keep one eye open at night...

obamanon

I still can't really get over the fact that i was a part of the Grant Park insanity the other night. To be in this country at such a time as this is so amazing, but it's hard for me to understand that I was RIGHT THERE. It was crazy that no one was really chanting "Obama", but rather "U-S-A!" over and over; it's almost as if we finally were proud to be Americans again. I can't stop listening to "My President" by Young Jeezy... I love it. I just can't believe it. I've noticed a change in the way people treat one another lately as well. I don't know. I'm just fucking really happy.

uh

since i don't really write anything with substance in this thing:

100 year flood - string cheese incident
1976 - RJD2
bird brain - fiery furnaces
summer wine - nancy sinatra
long way home - norah jones
fresh rhythm - quantic soul orchestra
13 angels standing... - a silver mt. zion (this entire album will never get old to me)
everything'll be alright - joshua radin
star mile - joshua radin
root groove - wax poetic
the groove that just won't stop - time machine
duet (w/ ray lamontagne) - rachael yamagata
rough gem - islands
sister rosetta goes before us - alison kraus/r plant
hawaii - meiko (just reminds me of being there ohhhh about a month ago. fuck)
THE GREATEST - CAT POWER over and over and over
don't let me fall - lenka
soco amaretto lime - brand new (brings good memories)
i don't blame you - cat power
butterfly - mason jennings
spades - zox
east to the west - michael franti
the entire the hood internet vs. lykke li
rising up - the roots
someone great - lcd soundsystem
cherry blossom girl - air
accidental deth - rilo kiley
pool shark - sublime (via robbin the hood, however)
yer so bad - tom petty
world spins madly on - the weepies
sunshine - g. love
like a prayer - madonna
gold to me - ben harper
try - nelly furtado
our house - csny
the trapeze swinger - iron and wine
beautiful - snoop dogg, blah blah blah
dog faced boy - phish
the man comes around - johnny cash
had a dat - sublime

on every corner

death
has been your lover
he has brought you
the edges of your life
and now you are looking over
and all we can say is
it's gonna be all right
and I am looking forward
to looking back on these days
when on every corner
someone holds a sign
that says I'm homeless
I'm hungry and
I have AIDS

how will they define our generation
in the coming decades
who will tell the story
and what will they say?
will they say the victims
were thought of as criminals
while the guilty sat on high
deciding their fate
ticking off statistics in their spare time
tell me,
which is the crime?

may you never test positive
pregnancy
HIV
may you never be the receptacle of blame
may you never be the scapegoat
for a whole
world full of shame
may you never be fighting for your life
and at the same time
have to fight for your name

there are too few who open both eyes
we sit back in our easy chairs
and we try to sympathize
whether from the point of a needle or
the edge of our beds
we too, like too many others,
could be dead
our actions
will define us
before a single definition can be said
yeah, so what if god is testing us
what if that's true
what are you going to do
what is the answer
to you?

i ain't no groupie

So after the show last night, I'm smoking a cig near the tour buses and I yell at some guy. He comes over to us and starts talking. We realize it's some dude from The Roots.

"You wanna come to a party?"
-"Uh, sure..."
"All right, come on the bus"
-"What the fuck? Ok" (Pretty sure that was my reaction)

Get on the tour bus of The mother fucking Roots, and we are fucking chillin. They give us some beer and the one guy (no names shall be mentioned throughout this) is talking to me as if he'd already claimed me or something like that. I'm freaking out in the meantime inside, so I'm texting everyone I know who would give a shit at that point because I couldn't believe all of it was really happening. We get off the bus and go into some club that ?uestlove was DJing, I couldn't tell you what it was called, but it was packed. As we walk in, the dude turns around and he's like telling me that "I better tell my boyfriend that I'm gonna be cheating on him tonight" and that he "better get to have his way with me" and stupid shit like that. I am drunk and he is super talented, so it doesn't even phase me that he's being beyond creepy at this point. We go into their little section and they are posing for pictures and shit like that.

ANYWAYS,
We leave that club, and in the meantime some hoed out chick is following them and attempts to get into the cab with us. They're like "sorry, we don't have enough room," which was pretty sweet considering what had just been happening that past hour and a half at that point. We go to another club, didn't go in, but in the meantime another one of the guys got into an altercation with the cab driver about money and told the cab driver that "he makes what he makes in three minutes" and other ridiculous shit. This pisses me off and so I made a small comment about how it's not really that cool to speak to someone else like that, and he went on about how he grew up from nothing and still made it and so should that cab driver and blah blah blah ... boring. It was sort of funny to see someone of that status all fucked up and belligerent, however. It's like those pages in USWeekly---"Stars are just like us! They get drunk!"

After a few minutes of deliberation and the one dude constantly asking me if he could "talk to me", we decide to go to Sutton Place hotel in Gold Coast where they were staying. They get this huge bottle of wine, and they are pouring us glasses and assuming that we were staying the night. I'm talking to them having a good time, but the one guy would not fucking leave me alone. He kept telling me to come sit by him and like patting down on his lap to sit there all annoying-like, and I was just like "no, I'm cool." He doesn't like that, so he comes and sits uncomfortably close behind me, so much that I could like feel his dick on my back and starts reading my texts. He's asking me who these people are and why do I have to be texting and he just "wants to get to know me." We start discussing music and how long he's been doing what he does, what has influenced him, you know, good conversation. I mean he's a fucking Grammy nominated (by the time he entered the band) artist like five or six times over, so he obviously knows what he's talking about when it came to music. Despite that being sexy as hell, he then gets into how he "wants to take me to where he's from" (which would be fucking COOL cause its beautiful if he was even telling me the truth) and all this shit so obviously I'm not buying it.

He continues to move even closer to me and like rubbing me and shit so at this point I'm just annoyed and call Megan to either come up to where we are or pick us up. She comes to the hotel and picks us up. We leave and I'm pretty sure we pissed off numerous members of The Roots for drinking their alcohol and not sleeping with them. Ooops....

"finally someone texted me" - paul

1. brazillian girls - dance til the morning
2. leftover salmon - up on the hill (thank you yonder for playing this last weekend)
3. the doors - l'america
4. little yellow spider - devendra banhart
5. the strange design of conscience - the flaming lips
6. runaway jim - gordon stone trio (phish tribute)
7. water song- hot tuna
8. rough gem - islands
9. mr. big stuff - jean knight
10. take me home country roads - john denver
11. ocean - john butler trio
12. a case of you - joni mitchell
13. star mile - josh radin
14. perfect day - lou reed
15. leap year - maria taylor
16. mine eyes - moonshine still
17. buckets of rain - neko case
18. bang bang - niia
19. lonestar - norah jones
20. when i go - brett dennen
21. spoonful of sugar - of montreal
22. elevators (me & you) - outkast

and basically anything by new buffalo

fuck joe plumber

As if I wasn't already appalled by McCain to begin with, I managed to extract a "joke" from his 1986 race for US Senate, as quoted in the Tucson Citizen:

"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’ "

I for one find that joke hysterical. Nothin' like a good old rape joke...

I'm watching the third debate and I can't help but get completely FUCKING ANNOYED. As Obama notably sits there and waits for McCain to finish his inconsistent ramblings, McCain continues to interrupt and look away from the speaker as he is spoken to. I for one do not want this pint-sized turtle of a man to tell me what the fuck I can do with my body and mind while continuing to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. If my birth control won't be paid for by my insurance, I wonder if Viagra will be for all the incompetent men across the US?

fuck you very much

It is 5:48 P.M

4:33 A.M.
5:39 A.M.
12:28 P.M.
2:38 P.M.
3:45 P.M.
4:35 P.M.

In the past twelve hours I have been getting these phone calls from this annoying mother fucker. Seriously I need to stop giving out my number when I'm out when I'm not going to remember what they look like/if I even gave him my number. Clearly he's desperate. At what point is it considered harassment. He's blond. Alcohol--->lapse of judgement for sure.

Mason Jennings is playing for free down the street in an hour. I love this city.

serpentine

the goons have gone global
and the CEOs are shredding files
and the democrans and the republicrats
are flashing their toothy smiles
and uncle tom is posing for a photo op
with the oval office clan
and uncle sam is rigging cockfights
in the promised land
and that knife you stuck in my back is still there
it pinches a little when i sigh and moan
and these days i'm thinkin i could just as soon use
the time alone

and i must admit
today my inner pessimist
seems to have got the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool-aid and manifest destiny
and we memorize all the president's names
like little trained monkeys
and then we're spit into the world
so many spinny-eyed t.v. junkies
incapable of unravelling the military industrial mystery
preemptively pacified with history book history
and i've been around the world now
and i can see this about america
the mind control is steep here, man
the myopia is deep here

and behold
those that try to expose the reality
who really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discrete
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all she wrote

and my heart beats an sss o o o sss
cuz folks just couldn't care care care less less less
as long as every day is superbowl sunday
and larger than life women in lingerie
are pouting at us from every bus stop
shelovesme shelovesmenot shelovesme shelovesmenot...

and big government should not stand between a man and his money
i mean "what's good for business is good for the country"

our children still take that lie like communion
the same old line
the confederacy used on the union

conjugate liberty
into libertarian
and medicate it
associate it
with deregulation
privitization
we won't even know we're slaves
on a corporate plantation
somebody say hallelujah!
somebody say damnation!
cuz the profit system follows the path of least resistance
and the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked
makes it serpentine
capitalism is the devil's wet dream
so just give me my judy garland drugs
and let me get back to work
cuz the empire state building
is the tallest building in new york
and i always got the feeling
you just liked to hear it fall

off your tongue

songs i've been obsessed with recently

my most recent playlist...

1. incubus - battlestar scralatchtica
2. katy perry - hot 'n cold
3. ben folds - you don't know me (ft. regina spektor)
4. mgmt - weekend wars
5. jennifer hudson - spotlight
6. wax poetic - driftin
7. gorillaz - deltron zero
8. the roots - here i come
9. kanye - love lockdown (clockwork remix)
10. moby - porceline
11. marlena shaw - california soul
12. aesop rock - 9 to 5ers theme
13. al green - love and happiness
14. alison krauss + robert plant - gone, gone, gone
15. aretha franklin - say a little prayer for you
16. ben e. king - stand by me
17. the blow - true affection
18. T.I. - whatever you like
19. postal service - natural anthem
20. lily allen - gwb (fuck you very much)
21. flosstradamus - 3 peat mix
22. corinne bailey rae - til it happens to you
23. islands - don't call me whitney, bobby
24. kid cudi - lovestoned freestyle
25. kate nash - merry happy
26. rhianna - good girl gone bad
27. alan astor - paper planes remix
28. ben folds - fired
29. lykke li - dance, dance, dance
30. n.e.r.d. - she wants to move (justice remix)

reprieve

oh to grow up hypnotized
and then try to shake yourself awake
cause you can sense what has been lost
cause you can sense what is at stake

it took me a few years to catch on
that those days i catch everyone's eye
correspond with those nights of the month
when the moon gleans like an egg in the sky
and men are using a sense
they don't even know they have
just to watch me walk by


and me,
i'm supposed to be sensible;
leave my animal outside to cry
when all of nature conspires
to make me her glorious whore
it's cause in my body i hold the secret recipe
of precisely what life is for

and the PATRIARCHY that looks to shame me for it
is the same one making war
and i've said too much already but i'll tell you something more:

to split yourself in two
is just the most radical thing you can do,
so girl, if that shit ain't up to you,
then you simply are not free

cause from the sunlight on my hair
to which eggs i grow to term
to the expression that i wear,
all i really own is me

i mean to split yourself in two
is just the most radical thing you can do
goddess forbid that little adam should grow so jealous of eve
and in the face of the great farce of the nuclear age
feminism ain't about equality, it's about reprieve

i am covered in glitter

So last night I was involved in my first apple bobbing contest. We went to Soiree for a little to see Meggie DJ and then left before the guids took over. We then went to Irish Eyes for but a minute but Molly couldn't get in so we left (which is ironic because she will be 21 next week). Anyways, so we go to this bar called Prost down the street cause I had heard many good things about the place and thought it'd be fun. So after like four pints of Belgium beer and time spent mackin on the bartender I decide to go outside and we smoke a cig. At this time the owner approaches us and asks us if we want to be in an apple bobbing contest. Now I am wearing a skirt and just got my haircut yesterday so my hair looked all nice, but of course my drunken mind tells me its a good idea. I oblige and Molly and myself find three other team mates willing to participate in such a weird thing. The deal was the winner got a free boot of beer, so I am obviously interested in this, despite it being the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen taken place at a bar. Needless to say we lost due to certain circumstances but all in all it was a good effort and I hope nobody saw my ass during so.

My room mates, Caitlin and I went to Bassnectar tonight and it was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've had in awhile. Brittany got the entire line to do a slow clap about a million times claiming it was her friend Nancy's birthday as we waited to get in which is always fun...................... The DJ that played before him (need to find out his name) did some fucking incredible mashups. It was almost as if he was going in eras or something like that. He mixed some stuff from the 60s (e.g. Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix) and then went into the 80s (The Cure, The Outfield) he even fucking did the Peanuts song remixed which pretty much got everyone moving. He was also pretty fucking great at scratching it was pretty impressive. I separated myself from the pack towards the end of his set seeing as I saw the location of Bassnectars setup and had to be there. I was in the front the entire time and I could probably stare at that man all day if I could. His set was so intense; anybody who can go from mixing Raining Blood to later going into My Love by Justin Timberlake and making it sound legitimate is okay in my book. I danced my little tush off and eventually got to meet him at the end of the night. He hooked me up with a CD that has his new single from his album coming out. Not only is this man sexy but he's fucking talented.

As if the past few weeks couldn't get any more fabulous I put my ticket requests for Phish 09 about a minute after they made the announcement so hopefully I get those bad boys. Hooray!

5th grade

So I guess when I was in the fifth grade we wrote ourselves letters for our teachers to mail to us. My mom brought mine to Hawaii with her along with some other mail that got sent to my house and it's probably one of the funniest things I've read in awhile. This is what it says:

Dated: June 2, 2000

Dear Laura,
Hi! Wat ^? Today was field day + u are in 5th grade at St. Louise DeMarillac. My friends from school: Claire, Nicole, Hillary, Jon, Mike, Brittany, Jessica, Mandy Smith, Mike O'Neil. I just got a picture of ( ___name withheld___ )... Yay! Claire + I have a BIG crush on him (maybe you still do!) Do you remember Chris Lambert? He was that 12 year old from England that you met in Florida. Do you still e-mail him? Are you and Victoria still best friends even though she lives in England? Do you still like NSYNC or do you like BSB now? Here are my favorite bands: Limp Bizkit, NSYNC!!!, Sisqo, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Method Man, Mandy Moore, Korn, Marilyn Manson, Britney Spears and Barenaked Ladies. My favorite songs are: Bye, Bye, Bye, Forgot About Dre, Thong Song by Sisqo, It's Gonna Be Me by NSYNC, I Wanna Be With You by Mandy Moore, Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-A lot baby! That song is from the 80's! Falling Away From Me by Korn, Make Me Bad by Korn and lots and lots more! Here are my friends from swimming: Tara, Janelle, Danny M, Carey, Chris, Tim, Evan, Charlotte, Sarah, Emily, Allison D, Ben, and anyone else I 4got! Bye! - Laura (insert flower and smiley drawings)

Besides the fact that I was a fucking strange child (Korn, Marilyn Manson?) The kid who's "picture I got" that Claire and I had a crush on I could not tell you what he looked like or anything like that. I was just thinking about Chris Lambert the other day. He was fucking sexy and we planned to meet every year in Florida from 5th grade to like 7th or something like that. I wish I still had his e-mail cause he's probably hot and I liked his accent. I'm still friends with Victoria and I plan to visit her in England sometime in the (hopefully) near future. I still like Britney Spears so that's pretty consistent. I love how I added "that 12 year old boy" as if being one year older was such a big deal. I guess that's proof I've never really liked anyone my own age... ha

aloha beetchezzzzzzzz

So I normally don't do one of those "reflections of my day" type things, (or write on this anymore at all for that matter), but I've had such a good day two days that I figured I'd go ahead. Basically yesterday we went on this environmentally friendly coral reef research thing which was fucking dope.. saw some octopus and about ten different types of fish. We went to two locations, I can't remember the names 1.) Hawaiian is hard 2.) I've been drinking, but they were beautiful and if I remember I will edit them in. Anywho, after we returned from that we went to Kaanapali Beach and I jumped off a 20 ft. (estimating) rock into the water which I had written down on my bucket list like two years ago. Today I woke up and walked outside to the beach that is behind me and went snorkeling. I have a hard time staying about water just observing so I swam down to get a closer look at it all. I not only saw TWO SEA TURTLES but I was so close to the one that I could have touched it! I saw about five or so different types of species, including a longspine black urchin, what looked to be a spotted toby. So fucking sweet. After that I got to see my beautiful sister (basically) get married right off the coast. Their wedding was so simply elegant. Of course there was a barefooted man playing beautiful songs before the marriage, during the actual ceremony he lightly picked his guitar, and afterwards he blew out of a conch after they said their vows and the man blessed them for eternal health and all that jazz. It was pretty fucking cool. After that, we celebrated with some champagne and then headed down to the bar while her and Jeff got their photos taken. While we were at the bar, we watched a ceremonial sunset thing (I don't know the terms I forget). It started off with this traditional music, drums mostly and then as that was going on a man danced with fire... they stopped that and the rock that I actually jumped off got lit up with fire and then the man did the jump off the rock. It's basically a tradition that the locals do as a celebration of the beautiful day that had passed. The day ended with a wonderful meal (and cocktails ha) with my family and now I am sitting here half listening to the presidential debate and typing this.

The stars seem to shine brighter, the grass seems to be greener, the sky more blue, the sun brighter... Nobody smokes cigs (as far as I've seen, really) I am not so sure I could ever live here though, because I feel as though this isn't the real world. I collect newspapers from all the cities I've been to across the country, and I was reading my Maui paper, and it seemed to be nothing but good news. Not really anything covering the campaign, not really anything covering the economy, just basically local goodness. That is fucking awesome! But I think I'll just stick to having a place as a safe getaway while still understanding that this is not the real world. I am going to try to look for other papers before I return to Chicago because I am convinced that everyone in Maui is not uneducated.

If John McCain says maverick one more time my head might explode.

i fucking hate the hills

“The Hills is on tonight!” This sentence has been exclaimed from the mouths of millions of brainless idiots three hours prior to the actual premiere every Monday night for far too many seasons. It amazes me that someone would actually “Shh” me during a television show literally about absolutely nothing. The things that come out of their mouths are completely fucking irrelevant. Do they even have jobs? How did they even become “famous”? It seems to me that almost everyone seems to think that it’s a basic need to tune in to what’s going on in the lives of these girls.

But in all honesty, if it weren’t for this show, how else would we know when a friends’ boyfriend, is, like, such a dickhead? Or whom would we turn to for fashion guidance? Who wouldn’t want to watch people complaining, answering their phone, and sitting down all the fucking time? ME. That’s who. Rest assured for the rest of the population, however, LC, Lo, Audrina and any of their other fucking dumb ass friends are there to clue you in to what has to be the realest and most important aspects of our lives.

Upon sitting through an episode, we get to see the girls dress up and go to lunch about thirteen times while discussing what happened the night before. I can tell you what fucking happened last night not only because I just watched it happen but because you do the same thing every goddamn night. Their nights consist of sitting in a booth at some lame ass club or sushi bar in LA drinking vodka sprites and talking about how much they hate everyone else involved in their pointless and shallow lives. The nights usually end in some sort of emotional distress, usually because one of their boyfriends is being an asshole, or they’re fighting about who’s the better friend. Either way I know they probably wouldn’t be fun to hang out with seeing as how they clearly can’t handle their liquor.

Despite none of this being entertaining what so ever, it could only be necessary to sit and repeat what happened after we just watched it as they sit and pick and their food and stare at each other while unable to make any form of connection with their so called friend because their brain capacity is that of a house fly’s. What the hell is wrong with everyone on this show that they have to stare at each other so much? I mean I was raised that it was ill mannered not to look at people in the eye when they’re talking to you, but come the fuck on, nobody ever needs to make that much eye contact.

Shall we move along to the music that pollutes this ridiculous show? What is this music you speak of? Oh you know, just the thing that gave this goddamn channel its well-known title? Fuck MTV. They do not show music videos nor do they have anything to do with music on TV. Some marketing genius came up with the idea of playing the newest songs in the background of these new MTV shows while listing the artists and titles at the bottom so all you have to do is race to your computer and download it. Aside from the fact the songs are usually fucking terrible, I will give them credit for actually cuing them to appropriate scenes. You can always tell that it’s going to be a commercial when LC stares off into the tiny cubicle office she doesn’t even work for and a nice somber melody evokes the torment she’s feeling because of something Spencer and Heidi did.

Just when I thought this show couldn’t get any more fucking stupid, I found out this show basically gave the talentless fuck LC a fashion line. Are you fucking kidding me? This shit looks like the how-to patterns that come with sewing kits that you buy at fucking Wal-Mart. Wow LC! Thank you for sewing solid colors and basic shapes together to “create” a piece of shit that my two-year-old cousin could glue together. Fuck The Hills. The only good thing about this show is that MTV created something that gets 99% of the idiots in this world out of the public for one hour per week.